Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML
Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML
Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML
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