ovi282

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

Dude, WTF?

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was "Photoshopped." FML

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML