johnnynumnuts

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Louisville, USA
27 years-old
Thursday 18 June 1998
single

A propos de Johnnynumnuts

Louisville, Kentucky. Kik: nicholaskessler or message me

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Johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

agreeclassic 29 997

vote type 1 14 373

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

agreeclassic 44 191

vote type 1 4 065

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 05:53 - United States

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

agreeclassic 25 445

vote type 1 40 607

Locks are useful

By mjayne17 - 21/03/2009 19:04 - Canada

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML

agreeclassic 52 048

vote type 1 22 296

By Ashamed_Sister - 30/11/2013 07:35 - Namibia - Windhoek

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

agreeclassic 20 676

vote type 1 78 160

Ashamed_Sister app_comment_confession_title

Ashamed_Sister 60

Saturday 30 November 2013 16:19

He just asked me if he can have something to eat. When I finished the sandwich I realized the irony.