Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML
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Top comments
tehslack 5
Haha, moronic.
OreosBeGooood15 0
Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !
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Comments (236)
tehslack 5
Haha, moronic.
OreosBeGooood15 0
Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !
thatguy888 0
you said the same thing twice
OreosBeGooood15 0
Sounds like it's gonna be a start of a **** movie
anlhawks 5
youuuuu dummmmmmy lol Ü
te_amo_ily 0
hahahhahaha
VegasSkiess 0
I feel bad for the nurse. lol but fyl:p
xFalzz 0
Lol @ #13. My thoughts exactly
the_flirtt 0
ya but hey atleast you don't need male enhancement
abcdefghijKayla 0
smooth. very smooth.
Crlnprz 11
for all you know she could be turned on as well ;D
the_flirtt 0
I doubt it 24
satanic_fml 13
did she say "i can see why"
theoriginalfake 2
are u the devil?
Neex_fml 0
27 would you say the same thing if it was you?
Crlnprz 11
well you never know
the_flirtt 0
hah of course not why would you ask that ? you curious *_*
11colio11 4
ydi for not herping a derp
StoryOfTheYear 15
This sort of situation is the one were you look back at it and you want to face-palm every time
Freeze_fml 17
#35 is one BAMF.
the_flirtt 0
hah ya no
Arsonnist 3
I bet sleep feels special.
Arsonnist 3
she*. Wow, I guess I need some sleep.
firstdbzmaker 15
13 - YOU WOULD KNOW!! lol
hellokittywhore 0
nurse: well let's change that shall we? *shoves he roughly on table.* chessy **** music starts playing. btw # 60 your cutee ;D
Nena713 0
Fyl for having a lump. I hope it's not too serious.
LeighMoreno 0
Ignorance, shhh.. Let them learn. :P
hellokittywhore 0
it probably isn't him but whomever it is is cutee. I hate it when people font have pictures of themselves as their profile pic. or a car!!! that really bugs
StoryOfTheYear 15
Or you just be like me and post a smoking hot picture of yourself I know you're all jealous
LeighMoreno 0
Biancaaaa Shut your face. :D
hellokittywhore 0
the only thing hot in your profile pic is the fire on the background. XD
Freeze_fml 17
#90 just nailed a slam dunk.
Generalx3 0
Teehee. This made me laugh. you need to get laid. xD
MyNameIsInvictus 0
How old is the OP?
YourEvilHero 12
least it didn't happen with a male nurse
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
35 Everyone knows it doesn't count if you have to pay for it stop Bragging like your tough sh*t because you aren't sorry!
BananaSticker 0
Well at least she knows you aren't gay? Here's a banana sticker to cheer you up OP. :]
XOIIO 0
LOL it does!
suppressed08 2
should have just apologised to the nurse and got on with it...they're trained to deal with the human body and be emotionally detached. should have thought more on what to say:P
groovis 2
35 I laughed harder at your posturing over being some pseudo-stud than I did at this FML! Thanks dude!
selenagirl_fml 0
lol op, smooth, just....smooth.
chuchurocket 4
22 is hot
vballerlover07 0
Don't think about to much, OP. That nurse has more than likely seen worse or has had men get erections during exams. Don't be to hard on yourself.
cantfightfate 0
reminds me friends when Ross tries to kiss his cousin. "I haven't had sex in a really long time." hahaha
cantfightfate 0
reminds me OF friends*
elizzcbs13 0
hahahahaha one of the many reasons I'm glad I'm a girl! that's embarassing. but I'm sure the nurse figured it was gonna happen.
ImsoMikhail 0
obviosly they didn't **** because if they had he wouldn't have been posting this as a fml
MarkerofMagic 0
hahaha #90 that was great.
Ruff_fml 3
31 wins five internets.
White_Fury 0
90 is a winner! haha
stewpididiot 11
huhuughuh .. you said hard on... huhuughuh.
Boygenius50 8
#35=Virgin
dudeitsdanny 10
35 hasn't learned that masturbating to his Barbies isn't considered sex. I love when kids pretend to be badass. OP- Consider her line of work. You're not her first erection, and won't be her last. You probably made it more awkward by talking about it, lol.
sexisbad 1
lol nice pun
knight0748 5
shoulda tell her this is how you imagine you would lose you virginity...
Trollz4daLULZ 2
lucky for you, #84, my pic really IS me. Do you like what you see?
StoryOfTheYear 15
The funny thing about #90 is that that was the whole point of putting "smoking hot" in there was because I had a torch in it >.>
kath3rin3tayl0r 0
$10 says 35 is a virgin.
mush_room 0
You guys are funny :) I haven't put a picture up because I'm afraid a friend might recognize me on FML and it's fun to be anonymous. lol And op, idk why that would even come out of your mouth. lol I would of just said "well that's embarrassing" u_u or nothing at all. :P
nateb1tch 1
i hate the random boners that screw with us.. and hopefully it wasnt your full time dr or that would be awkward forever
ygdrassil 17
Then she looks up at you and seductively says, "Well we can fix that. I know how to get rid of one of these lumps." That's from a **** movie.
Troll_Hater 0
35 is **** face
thatonek1d 0
normally doesn't the doctor do the medical examinations?
JohnGraveline 0
Bow Chicka Wah wah!
DncrHap 9
brown chicken brown cow!
paradocs7 0
are your arms like really short, is that why ???
helloello 2
oh dangggggg, haha fml is harsh these days.
helloello 2
35, baller statusssss!
mynewaccount 8
lol!
sc95060sc 0
hahaha @132, exactly what I was thinking!!
mellovesyuh 0
#96 u look like u needd too get layed too so don't talkk KONICHIWA ;)
chuk_norris_fml 0
If you ask me it's more of an FML that you have a lump on your crotch than some hot chick who touched your shlong Sounds like you got lucky on that one
joemk2012 0
Ha! I get it! "Hard" on yourself!
astarwarsfan 0
did she prescribe Viagra afterwards? xD
sexycourtcourt 0
dude that's sucks ass!! I feel bad for that nurse....
TheStoryOfUs 0
BAMFs are cool kids x)
cbdee 8
So true!!!
princesspz 0
lol yeah that's pretty dumb
OreosBeGooood15 0
Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !
minesbiggerr 25
WIN!!!!!!!
PurplePigeon 0
if that's your smartest, I would hate to hear, the dumb things you say.
rileykins 0
it's called sarcasm.
PurplePigeon 0
yes
anlhawks 5
niccceee lol way to go shoulda said well your hot and maybe you coulda got some digits ;)
noobienick 19
Just stop. You're retarded.
too_dopee 0
i dont see how thats the smartest thing to sayy.
hellokittywhore 0
omg!!! I love your hello kitty!!!!!!!!
brycereid 0
gay.....
too_dopee 0
you're gay and thanks(:
Yung23 0
lmao loser!! u should have said I think it needs ah treatment bahaha
Cuppycake1488 0
#7's name says it all. :/
LeighMoreno 0
So, #7.. When do you plan on changing that pic? :P
StoryOfTheYear 15
Do you not know what happened this summer in the NBA? Your name explains :P
Freeze_fml 17
Must have been the story of the year. Too bad basketball is boring.
LeighMoreno 0
Lol, Loren. Freeze, basketball is pretty awesome. :P What sport(s) do you watch then?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Freeze Freeze! How dare you make a joke out of someones username! Disgraceful Anyways, Basketball has more stuff going on than Football so I'm stuck with waiting for Favre to say he's coming back and LeBron going to Miami, but otherwise idc about it
marylovesyou8D 7
hmmm, smooth move.
hsshae 0
did you poke her eye?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Giggity giggity, giggity goo!
hahaFYL458 0
u