Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took the train home to save a few dollars on an Uber fare. I fell asleep on the train, got a fine for travelling outside of my paid zone, and had to take an even longer Uber home than it would have been from where I started. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML
Today, trying to get to work just off Eglinton station in Toronto, I slept in, didn't shower, and didn't have money for an Uber, so I jumped on the street car. This was the only time they had people checking tickets. One 200$ fine later, I'm late for work, and after a warning for my tardiness, I was sent home for "stinking." FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
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Top comments
condescending 0
sucks dude, but seriously, why would he ticket the homeless guy he has no money
brodizzle 0
Explain to a NY cop? lolol
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Comments (84)
YLIF 0
that sucks so bad. 1 caus u were ticketed 2 caus you must have been really far from home
meelmo 0
ahaha
kill3rs 0
He ticketed you because you will pay it. The homeless man will not...
SoFreakinNaive 0
ouchhh!
theluckygirl28 8
That sucks... haha, I remember those days with my friends in the summer... Good times :)
sawdy 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO!!! :P
crap09 0
Why can't America be nice to homeless people anymore? I mean, they have like nothing left. OP, shit. Maybe you can explain to the cop what happened?
starberries 0
I think it's a little late to explain to the cop. He would need to go to court and explain it to the judge.
brodizzle 0
Explain to a NY cop? lolol
octopussperm125 18
Yeah. The cops here suck
condescending 0
sucks dude, but seriously, why would he ticket the homeless guy he has no money
go_rangers 0
That sucks... my friend was going one stop on the 6 once and fell asleep and wound up in Pelham Bay. Awful. I've wound up in Jamaica several times... freaking E train. Never been ticketed though... that's just bad luck. Sorry dude.
keezybaby_fml 0
maybe you pissed on tha dude... I guess he got his testimonial before yours!
westsideknight 0
Next time you should crap/piss your pants, maybe the cop'll think you're homeless too