Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend takes so long in the bathroom. Apparently he has a system for shitting he’s very OCD about: he has to be naked in case poo touches any of his clothes, he has to wipe stood up with one leg elevated, and the whole process takes 10x longer than it should. FFS! FML
Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML
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Top comments
suckmyassitsmell 0
Someone is ready for anal!
suckmyassitsmell 0
Too bad this is fake. Girls don't shit. The poop fairy comes and takes it directly from their lower digestive tracts with her magic wand.
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Comments (105)
suckmyassitsmell 0
Someone is ready for anal!
lol523 0
lmao xD
talb1 7
Lol. Made me chuckle. Yes I said chuckle. :3
iSnowboard 0
no it's time for ear
MRiKiCCS 0
no man should have bangs....29 smh.
Tsunami87 17
Cincinnati bowtieee!!
pinkypig312 0
(Y)
Apple_pie777 0
holy shit
sadixon 0
Perfect response!!!
krystal753 0
hahahahah :D
completedumbass 0
34 Boys should have bangs
BeccaEatsGlitter 0
How do you see through you bangs.? xD' buut.. They are reeaally cute :3
kjbrown25 0
LOL at #2
BleakAsFcuk 0
O_o? Are you okay?
deaper 16
You DO realize that you ARE #2? Right? …......freehand Oh wait... the OTHER number 2! :: Smacks forehead :: Doh!
SupKev 0
lmao! wtf? can i have some of w.e it is your on?? lol
j_cat187 20
fml for having a lame enough life to post this
tygerarmy 35
Talk to your boyfriend. Otherwise you'll continue to have a shitty sex life.
suckmyassitsmell 0
Haha, shitty.
Buchitoo 4
lmao. I see what you did there!!!
ahdelinablue 0
or she could just get another one. that will satisfy her. #jussayyin
Doomire 0
this fml turns me on
elisewilloughby 0
You're absolutely disgusting.
griffin4 0
agreed
mintcar 10
Wow, this is sad. if you want your sex life to improve, then I suggest you talk to him about it.
suckmyassitsmell 0
Too bad this is fake. Girls don't shit. The poop fairy comes and takes it directly from their lower digestive tracts with her magic wand.
amlp21 0
haha good shiit.
iSnowboard 0
haha I see what u did there
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
What a shitty job.
semperfl 0
I agree
unidentified_sta 5
Depends on the shit y'know. I've been on the toilet up to 20 minutes occasionally. Needless to say I felt very satisfied after that. Perhaps he just can't compete with your addiction to shit pleasures?
Andreeuhhh 0
hilarious.
JuuuusssstFML 0
? that's not a good sign
emcee3 0
in his defense pooping is very satisfying..