numnut

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43 years-old
Thursday 25 November 1982
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Numnut's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

agreeclassic 27 045

vote type 1 19 784

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

agreeclassic 77 448

vote type 1 4 169

By trifioso - 08/01/2014 13:56 - United States

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

agreeclassic 50 838

vote type 1 3 798

trifioso app_comment_confession_title

trifioso 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 0:41

I am the OP, and I thank those of you who offered support to me, and my children. For the record: my husband and I divorced a month ago. I asked him REPEATEDLY what the status of his relationship was with his roommate, and he looked me right in the eye every time and denied they were involved. Two weeks after the divorce was granted in court, he told the kids the truth. FML only accepts stories that start with "today...." so yes, I fudged that bit a little. They have been together for two years. We were still in marriage counseling when they started up. And no, I didn't know. Seriously. I didn't, When someone you have known and loved for 20 years tell you something, you tend to believe it. Until you find out your whole life was a lie, that is.

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

agreeclassic 34 970

vote type 1 3 645

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

agreeclassic 20 712

vote type 1 43 818