Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said, "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Stanekus 0
This is obviously fake. Girls don't poop.
MAGNAVOX 0
YDI for looking like a cat, smelling like a cat, eating cat food, and for covering your poop after you relieve yourself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
MissGrinch 4
I know. ;)
fyourlife1991 0
invite me over...3 some... very nice high five!
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds repulsive. I'll never understand an organism's need to eliminate waste so frequently. It seems like a horrible flaw in design; eliminate waste just to generate more to eliminate wast again very soon? That's analogous to the futility of anything else one undertakes in this great misery known as existence. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
WretchedMan 0
This is stupid. it's not an FML or funny.
MissGrinch 4
Thanks a lot, Marvin. I'm very sensitive about my litter box. >:(
FYLDeep 26
Why the hell would a robot feel the need to threadjack? If that's what it's come to, then that seems like a horrible flaw in design.
garrettjordan 0
not really an FML :/
Shookitup 0
Dropping the browns off at the super bowl?? :)
uHazFailedTotall 0
I love you, Marvin.
jaderrrx3 0
I bet it was a very heavy load. ;)
sheribb 5
I love your hair !!
randomlettrrs 8
yes 72 my hair is nice. thank you.
ianbennett123 0
uhhh marvin....... WTF? I didn't understand a word you said.
lajaynay 15
I agree with Pendatik. 102 is an idiot. I wonder how many times he read it to attempt to understand it.
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
maybe because people have one voice?
Angi95 3
Hey can you tell me where the bathroom is I need to drop off some timber.Shelly: Maybe you need to be more mysterious. Hey do you know where the bathroom is I need to do something mysterious in there. Drop off some timber. I really hope somebody gets the house bunny reference.
kirstensmook 0
so? your talking about going to the bathroom..
Lukee 0
No he means her boyfriend speaks to her in this case about disposal of waste in the same voice he tells his cat to, I imagine in a high pitched silly voice, creepy.
mona_is_here 10
Her talking about going to the bathroom what?
McLovinBearJew 0
Yeah I fail to see a problem here
idgaf528 6
Talking to her like she is a pet*
nikkibeez 0
how is that a fml?
figgity83 15
don't know what u said but I agree cuz your so hot.
MissGrinch 4
Yo, this is not myspace. GTFO. -hiss-
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Cat fight.
nikkibeez 0
I didn't say anything wrong except question it being worthy of a fml, and they moderated me? apparently I was offensive.
kappaaa 12
LOLOLOL
glambert1998 0
47 would be perfect in a cat fight
Cjw1220 0
So would you
eternalsugarhigh 0
My wife actually loves when I do that to her, to each his own I guess...
fyourlife1990 0
sup
OwNowBrownCow 0
Your wife likes it when you tell her to take a dump?
ramboman19 8
lmfao that's hilarious!!
Stanekus 0
This is obviously fake. Girls don't poop.
loshysucks 0
exactly !
melthepirate 4
that's what I keep saying!!
PulseEffects 0
lmao
lovereadingfml 2
not really worth it to be put on fmylife, imo. lol.
batgirl_babygirl 0
and your point is....??
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Well she does look like she is on crack.
fyourlife1991 0
nice unibrow
mrR4G3R 0
^^ lmfao
loshysucks 0
ur ugly! #9 lol
MAGNAVOX 0
YDI for looking like a cat, smelling like a cat, eating cat food, and for covering your poop after you relieve yourself.
randomlettrrs 8
isnt that how everyone else does it?
schwancy 2
Everybody poops.
knibbsy 4
Nuh uh!
fyourlife1991 0
want to 3 some?
loshysucks 0
no ! girls dont poop!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Whenever I read the phrase "Everybody poops," I imagine it being sung to the tune of REM's "Everybody Hurts." "So hold on... hold on..."
LezBiHonest 7
Not girls....now, everybody knows that!
idgaf528 6
But i read on the Internet that girls don't poop, and the Internet never lies....right?