Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
paid2think 0
Well does it?
chocofudges 3
haha. that is really funny. how is this an FML?
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Comments (188)
paid2think 0
Well does it?
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
Hey he was trying to lighten the mood. :) You should of said yes and started laughing. :)
lizzilla8297 2
lololololol!!!!!!!!
allenrotstein 0
Well, she's a fun gal, kepper!
dennisbar27 0
I feel sorry for the other people!xD You guys make a good couple!
imaginaryvoice 18
I would have just laughed. Lol
seanders 10
I wouldn't ask permission to fart I'd just let it go lol.
MAGNAVOX 0
Who or what is kepper?
lalalaloveit 0
I think they ment keeper.
10_4Franky 0
Number one, I think that if she burps he's at least allowed to fart. Well actually she "accidentally" burped but who really cares.
TransitionCovery 0
YDI so bad
sueannpalma 7
how is this an fml ? me and my bf have burping contests and farting to lmao
thrice324 0
Lol I agree with 107. At least he didn't just walk out on you. Which is what most girls would do if a guy did that.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Sorry but...your spelling and grammar was just terrible again. Did you mean top of your class in 1st grade? What is the world coming to? I see so many people who don't know their to, too, and two. They also do not know their there, their and your you'res either, very sad. People are not grammar Nazis, it is just that we want to help. :)
SCO_1130 0
Do as I say not as I do?
nond2nv 4
#38, You're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. You're welcome.
nond2nv 4
***#138***
marlaineeeee 0
it was love at first site wasn't it? lol
hobojo11 0
hahagaha
farhil 14
154, sight*
optimusprime0069 8
be fair and say yes
QwertyMcNugget 0
You're adorable! :D
croso88 5
that is epic
QwertyMcNugget 0
What is Epic? :O
chocofudges 3
haha. that is really funny. how is this an FML?
jvoorhees 0
your right, funny but no fml
imemerald 3
I agree, at least he's got a sense of humor!
SarahBearXoX 0
I know.. I thought it was cute and funny. :
xGabri3L 3
Your amazing.
lajaynay 15
*you're it's a contraction for "you are" and "your" is possessive. Learn it, live it. :)
amritsidhu6 0
hahaha fag
nazooer 11
It's* Capitalization is fun.
xninix_fml 36
@157 Lol I love that you corrected someone who also corrected someone ;P.
thegooseisloose 0
Baabi. :)
JustKeepBreathin 0
At least he didn't break up with you?
redbluegreen 41
But he did break wind.
MetalHead93GB 0
I see wut u did der! cheeky! :D
schalk 12
is that Dimebag Darrel in your pic? *makes devilhorns gesture*
RedPillSucks 33
Hope her name wasn't Windy, ..., erm, ... Wendy.
aidanawesome 0
you fail
disturbed4life15 0
omg I love your picture... it's gir :)
TomSmithy 0
Wmt
curzy 6
Stay classy.
natas_fml 13
stay classy, whales ******.
SquaresviL7e 0
Go FYL, San Diego.
Mpsteve13 7
I like your picture frosty46, family reunion is their best song