The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

still can’t sleep · 21 December 2021, 14:01 ·United States

Healthcare in the USA

Today, despite changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and taking melatonin, I still can’t sleep. When I told my doctor, she prescribed antidepressants. This is the third time she’s tried to give them to me. That’s her solution for everything, and my insurance won’t give me another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 160

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Anonymous · 9 October 2021, 19:58 ·Norden, Germany

Classic cat

Today, our cat wrote me a story: "This is where I caught a mouse. This is where I ate the mouse. This is where I puked the mouse." Unfortunately, she wrote it as a graphic novel on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 15 December 2020, 04:58 ·United States

Family matters

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 120

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done · 11 July 2023, 06:00 ·Calgary, Canada

Delusional

Today, and for the second month in a row, my dad sent our rent money to some chick he’s been talking to, who promised 3 million if he sent dollars for bitcoin. We’re going to get evicted, and I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 104

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siamne · 28 March 2021, 23:00

Glass half empty

Today, after six months of eating a better diet and exercising every other day, I can now say that I am physically healthier, but the lifestyle changes have done absolutely nothing to help my depression. That was the whole reason I started doing this in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 18 February 2022, 04:00

Playing favorites

Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 194

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Anonymous · 12 July 2022, 14:00

Spooky

Today, my mother continues to copy everything I do. So far, she's switched to seeing my doctor, my therapist, my hairdresser, and even shopping at my preferred supermarket. I've lived independently for ten years, but I'm starting to fear for my safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 20 September 2021, 23:00

March for sanity

Today, it took all 3 of my kids threatening to use their saved money to move out and into a flat together to make me realise just how much of an asshole my boyfriend is, and that by any definition I’ve been in a mentally abusive relationship for years, and ignored everyone’s attempts to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 834

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Anonymous · 21 November 2020, 02:04 ·El Macero, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Ding dong

Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 19 May 2022, 22:00

My body is ruining my life

Today, I have six exams next week, and as of this morning, I also have appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 76

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Anonymous · 23 September 2022, 21:30

Diagnosis unconfirmed

Today, I've been suffering from unbearable headache, fever, agonizing body pain for more than ten days. I took a COVID test, an antibiotic tablets course, even a dengue test. Finally after spending my entire bank balance on tests and MRI, it was diagnosed as a migraine - which went away with a single tablet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 301

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Seth · 19 December 2020, 22:58

Covidiots everywhere

Today, I realised the biggest FML this year was getting into online debates with people about Covid not being a hoax. One guy even said it was over, while I knew the numbers were climbing back up as I work in health-care, and I was sat on a toilet with diarrhea because I have Covid myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 263

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IHaveThePower · 2 October 2021, 02:00 ·Ottawa, Canada

Be happy for me

Today, I got offered an interview for a great job. My father then spent the entire dinner telling me how pointless it was, and how I should apply to the factory next door because I would spend all the extra money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 109

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IHaveATypeAparently · 25 July 2021, 06:01

Cursed

Today, I found out one of my exes is trans. I’m very happy for her, but I’m starting to think I have the wrong type, as I have had 3 ex-boyfriends come out as gay and 3 come out at trans right after breaking up. I really hope my current boyfriend doesn’t have a secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 197

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Anonymous · 21 December 2021, 07:59

Gatekeeping grief

Today, after my cousin recently died, my aunt basically told me that I shouldn't be sad, because we fought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 112

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Anonymous · 18 November 2021, 14:00 ·Yorktown, United States

Running

Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 28 February 2022, 18:00

Hangry

Today, I know my son is a blockhead so I left him very specific instructions on how to put the pre-prepared ingredients in the slow cooker, set to high, and cook for 4 hours. He did all that, except the instructions didn’t tell him to press the START button. So he didn’t and our dinner is still raw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 347

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Anonymous · 16 September 2021, 02:00 ·United Kingdom

Unprofessional

Today, a licensed child psychologist with 20 years of experience threw my son out after his first appointment, with the immortal line, “You must be taking the piss, there’s a church in town, you’re gonna need their help more than mine.” He’s probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 191

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Anonymous · 13 November 2022, 00:00

Borat voice

Today, my wife keeps bitching at me that she hasn’t lost any weight on her liquid diet, even though I’ve told her dozens of times that sticking all her normal large portion meals in a blender isn’t exactly a proper liquid diet, it’s just a very unhealthy soup with lumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 115

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HeatedHeat · 29 March 2021, 11:00

Erm, thanks, I guess

Today, I went to a store to buy a 43-inch TV that was on sale. The sale was so good that they sold out on the floor. I went to guest services and asked the employee if they had any in the back. She literally went to the back of the room, let out this god awful fart, came back out and said, “Sorry, we don’t.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 406

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iwishiwasdead · 30 August 2022, 10:00

MCU FML

Today, my roommates yet again decided to have a Marvel movie night. They do this three or four times a month, staying up all night, blasting the sound, and yelling like lunatics. The living room shares a wall with my bedroom. I fucking hate Marvel movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 267

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FirstImpressionist · 11 May 2022, 14:00

Great first impression

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 146

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Somebody kill me! · 2 May 2021, 00:30

Time out

Today, after a year and a half of overexploitation at work without getting paid for it, I can finally have a deserved vacation. Why? I caught Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 155

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Aninta · 12 March 2023, 03:00

Master manipulator

Today, I found out my long-distance boyfriend was trying to pick fights with me and start pointless arguments because he wanted a ticket out of the relationship. He wanted to find a reason to break up with me, rather than confess he has a local girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 31 January 2021, 05:01

Red flag

Today, my husband rolls his eyes at me 90% of the time when I ask for a kiss. I think divorce is not too far off. FML

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Anonymous · 30 August 2021, 06:01 ·Austin, United States

Where d'you come from?

Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 145

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eternal · 24 June 2019, 18:00

Oooh nooooooo

Today, while at the drive-thru at Sonic, they told me they were out of mozzarella sticks. I shed actual tears. I’m not even pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 1 261

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Anonymous · 3 June 2021, 00:01 ·Australia

Baby you can't drive my car

Today, I received a notice of a suspended driver's license on account of my epilepsy. I have to submit my license by the suspension date, or I could be fined. The suspension date was 8 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 111

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SushiSpot · 13 June 2022, 02:00 ·Jarrow, United Kingdom

It's all too much

Today, on my first day off in over a week of working for my new job, and covering for a sickness at work, I get called into work for an audit… which we failed due to a lack of training. Where is the manager who's supposed to be training me? On holiday in Spain. Oh and my partner is considering divorce due to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 137

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Johndoe · 30 October 2021, 20:00

Good boy

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 167

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