Today, I know my son is a blockhead so I left him very specific instructions on how to put the pre-prepared ingredients in the slow cooker, set to high, and cook for 4 hours. He did all that, except the instructions didn’t tell him to press the START button. So he didn’t and our dinner is still raw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got some ingredients ready for a stew in the slow cooker, planning to turn it on when I left for work. Well, my dumb, un-caffeinated ass turned it on, but put it on high instead of low. For 13 hours. It was completely charcoal by the time I got home. FML
Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I made the most perfect prime rib of my life at an amazing medium rare. I was so distracted dyeing eggs with my kids that I didn’t notice my mom cut the meat, then deciding to shove it back into the oven as it was “too pink” for her liking. She incinerated it beyond all recognition. FML
Today, I made a casserole to use up the green beans I've had sitting unused in the fridge for over a week. I went out and bought all the ingredients, prepared them, and left them in the slow cooker for 4 hours before dinner. At no point in this did I remember to add the beans. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I put leftovers in the microwave, pressed two minutes, and walked away. I came back to discover I'd started the kitchen timer instead. I'd spent two minutes waiting for food that had never even started warming up. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
If you knew your son was a blockhead, and you skipped the step of telling him to press Start, aren't you also a blockhead? I take it you don't program computers. You have to tell it every last step and not assume anything.
Marcella1016 32
Tbh I may not have known to press an additional button either if the instructions said to set to a certain temperature. If he’s not worked a slow cooker before, how would he necessarily know there’s another button to press after turning the knob? On the other hand, though, you’d think he’d have noticed something was off when he didn’t smell delicious food cooking after awhile and investigated. So yeah he’s still kind of a blockhead lol. Sorry for your loss (of a delicious, slow-cooked meal), OP.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
If you knew your son was a blockhead, and you skipped the step of telling him to press Start, aren't you also a blockhead? I take it you don't program computers. You have to tell it every last step and not assume anything.
legalgravethief 8
Ahhh autism! Has to be black and white!
ChnyahXD 1
I literally made an account just so i can dislike this
RichardPencil 32
What the **** is pre-prepared? That's too many pre's!!!!
Marcella1016 32
Tbh I may not have known to press an additional button either if the instructions said to set to a certain temperature. If he’s not worked a slow cooker before, how would he necessarily know there’s another button to press after turning the knob? On the other hand, though, you’d think he’d have noticed something was off when he didn’t smell delicious food cooking after awhile and investigated. So yeah he’s still kind of a blockhead lol. Sorry for your loss (of a delicious, slow-cooked meal), OP.
D J's MOM 17
forget these other idiots. turning the thing on should be a given, unless your son is like 5. if he wasn't smart enough to know that, you wouldn't have given him the task in the first place or you would have at least put it in the instructions. enjoy your pizza and just have ate the next night.
Grumpy Jack 27
In the mid-90's my mom had a big oven that she used to cook, grill with a microwave mode. After we set the time, we had to press a start button. Otherwise, the oven would never heat anything.
KristyRoseTakeMeHome 12
One time I set the slow cooker to Warm instead of Low. But I also left it in longer than needed, so it still cooked enough.