Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, I’m beyond pissed off and downright repulsed that my daughter is still in her stupid rebellious phase. it's bad enough that she does shit herself but now she’s involving our grandchildren. She showed up to our annual gathering and my 10 year-old granddaughter had bright purple dyed hair. FML
Today, my son had a child to spite his ex and ex-stepson. He was holding his daughter in his arms in the delivery room when he told me that now I can stop visiting his ex-stepson and pretending he’s my real grandchild, because now I have a real granddaughter. I’m speechless. FML
Today, I’ve had it with my best friend. She is a very jealous individual, who is never happy for me. I told her I was going to be a grandma again to ANOTHER set of twins, this time paternal, and we are going to have 6 grandbabies now. She got an attitude, and said, “Well, isn’t that nice” and then insulted me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet "the good one" becomes a crack ***** and "the shit stain" becomes incredibly successful at whatever she pursues. Write back in 20 years to see if I've won.
Crowned Sataness 12
sometimes kids can be assholes. you know this. you have to acknowledge that and let her deal with it with humor.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet "the good one" becomes a crack ***** and "the shit stain" becomes incredibly successful at whatever she pursues. Write back in 20 years to see if I've won.
poopface82 25
Wouldn’t be without precedent. Many years ago, a couple named their twin sons Winner and Loser. Winner ended up being a regular in prison; Loser became a police detective - and he preferred to be called Lou.
RichardPencil 32
Yes, I knew that story! Worked out like "A Boy Named Sue."
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
I want in on this bet.
Crowned Sataness 12
sometimes kids can be assholes. you know this. you have to acknowledge that and let her deal with it with humor.
Grizz8831 14
every parent I know of has weird and someway offensive names for their kids. it's a joke and made clear, and not generally one said TO the child once they can understand words. but yeah I bet one is an asshole, but they tend to grow out of it at some point.
Yudith 28
Still not a good idea to refer to your child as "the shit stain". Even when kids can't talk, they understand the meaning behind the words, and they end up internalizing the insult. This poor Lisbeth Salander of a baby needs lots of love from her Grandma.
unashamedfemale 9
mother knows best