Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML
Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
You're doing it wrong. You should be getting head, not getting a headache.
Mayshod 3
Screw you doc! ************ is safe sex with someone I love very much.
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Comments (38)
weepingangel_fml 7
Because you're going blind. XD
Dawnxxoo 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
stop masturbating then
Bourne_ 5
Yeah man get a chick and it'll be more fun.
markrs 0
Yeah man, get a dude and it'll be more fun. I mean, if you swing that way...
fanceh 10
Yeah man get a monkey and it'll be more fun......... no?
unhappybitch 8
Get a doll and it will be more fun.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Yeah man, use fruit because it'll be more....something.
jackassiddy 8
god gave us two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we speak.. he gave men two hands and one penis..
eurostar710 11
I think it's time to get a new doctor. Ya know, not a completely retarded one.
jackassiddy 8
god gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak. He gave us two hands and one penis..
jackassiddy 8
Damn comment not showing up making me look like a jackass... wait..
dtbomb 3
You need to stop playing tug-o-war with the cyclops!
belkinbra 12
Docbastard needs to become OP's new doctor.
J3R3MYY 14
What?! Your probably just dehidrated. Drink lots of water you should be good. Your doc is an idiot.
npnptracking 7
How does dehydration have anything to do with masturbation?
hurtandabused 7
Lack of juices to have come out lol
MizzErikaHart 8
He may perspire a lot if he's masturbating
J3R3MYY 14
Exactly!
EffinToofer 3
Dehydration causes headaches.
dreamnitedarling 9
Am I the only one suspecting a blood pressure issue?
IHaveThePower 18
****** can also be a migraine trigger. A neurologist can hopefully treat that--I have chronic migraines (with other triggers) and botox worked pretty well for me.
HumanWiki 8
Time for a new Dr. One that's not religious.
MoodyBlue320 11
Dumbass religious doctors don't have real answers. =P
RedPillSucks 33
You're doing it wrong. You should be getting head, not getting a headache.
Dawnxxoo 11
LOL
bitchslapped22 14
You're also going to have hairy palms!
mk58 31
Wonder what school this particular doctor got his MD from...
Savra_fml 17
printout from the internet
mk58 31
Damn it! So I'm wasting away in university for no reason?!
leogirl95 12
Church
77777771 12
Probably to much blood is leaving your brain to go somewhere much more important.
Mayshod 3
Screw you doc! ************ is safe sex with someone I love very much.