The Top

It didn't hurt me, just stung for a bit, needless to say I let her fix the mess and walked off to do something else. And to answer everyone's question, no, she is not hot.

By makinascene - 05/02/2009 10:05 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 659

You deserved it 5 744

By ScoozieBooze - 20/12/2012 18:17 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 508

You deserved it 32 419

Three's a crowd

By Kimberlie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 105

You deserved it 4 974

Make yourselves at home

By unlucky neighbors - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - China - Shanghai

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 749

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 00:20 - United States

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 586

You deserved it 38 465

By WestboroBC - 03/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 444

You deserved it 72 474

Heckler hell

By katie876 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 3 564

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 140

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The Top

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 905

You deserved it 2 746

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 13 198

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 675

You deserved it 6 234

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 2 460

Today, my house flooded for the third time in two years. The first time was a blocked toilet, the second a blocked sink. This time nothing appears blocked, but that hasn’t stopped it turning my kitchen into a giant puddle. I’m probably gonna get evicted this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 247

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 280