Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, I was having motorbike lessons. We were parked by the side of the circuit when one side of my gloves dropped on the ground. I tried to pick it up without getting off the bike. I lost balance, fell off the bike and the bike landed on my leg, trapping me. FML
Today, I was trying to be environmentally friendly by riding my BMX to work. My 'rad skills' are out of whack because I hit a pothole, fell off, and landed in a pile of trash bags that were dumped by the side of the road. The irony wasn’t lost on me. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Now the other drivers are going to think you had your head up your ass.
mercedesm 28
You should have buried it.
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Comments (20)
Zekfen 17
On the bright side your day couldn't get any crappier right?
simply123 7
What a shitty situation
manb91uk 22
I guess you’re 200KM up shit street without a saddle...
chubbear 14
Paddle, my dude
Miss_Whipped 43
So... what did you use for toilet paper?
RichardPencil 32
Now the other drivers are going to think you had your head up your ass.
Lobby_Bee 18
Assuming you meant the shit got inside your helmet, you could take your shirt off and wrap it around your head before putting it back on your head. Not illegal to ride without a shirt but illegal to ride without a helmet.
mercedesm 28
You should have buried it.
pjsr 33
With the shovel he carries on all his rides
RichardPencil 32
Helmets are expensive! It’d make a lot more sense to clean the shit off the helmet, rather than bury it and have to buy a new one!
mercedesm 28
Thank you! Someone gets it!
RichardPencil 32
I did get it. I was just making a joke about the ambiguity of your language.
lexos 16
I can see the you skipped on motorcycle 101. Never leave your helmet on a place where you can easily drop it
CROSSBONEKIDD 7
Rule of the forest, bury it.
Tim Carver 9
Why didn't you shit farther then your bike? what did you step off and shot