Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, my boyfriend made a mess eating spaghetti. Yes, he is older than 5. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
That admiration turned to horror.
starcable 9
five second rule. it's still good
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Comments (85)
Kiki242 19
That admiration turned to horror.
Sports_guy3 28
5 second rule!
Amoondris 17
I think it all depends on how often they clean the floor.
BeccaHugs 17
OP, is your boyfriend Joey Tribbiani?
starcable 9
five second rule. it's still good
thehumanlyhuman 7
OP, I hope you have no cats or dogs. That fur renders the five-second rule null and void. Furry spaghetti, anyone?
PastelPotatoes 14
Look at the bright side! At least he isn't wasteful! ... But in all seriousness that's gross. I hope you didn't eat that.
octopussperm125 18
You're lucky he didnt have to switch to the 10 second rule
Palirose 22
Idk about the rest of you...but my floors are clean. I dont mind eating off my floor. I cant afford to waste any food. Also there is a restaurant where they actually DO eat off their floors. IMO it can not be that bad so long as your home is clean etc.
gloriabrose 9
if the floors are decently clean than I don't see the problem...at least he didn't waste
kwyk 23
If the floors are clean you can... oh wait, someone already said that.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
The food is covered in bacteria within the first few milliseconds it is dropped on the floor...
sirsquab 12
Yeah and most, if not all of that bacteria is harmless
calipilot227 16
A little dirt don't hurt...
RedPillSucks 33
What about all the crap on the bottom of your shoe from walking around? Unless you're cleaning every instant of the day, your floors wont remain clean.
YOLOMASTER 10
#32 I do this. A lot..
coburn_ 2
#69 hey dirt contain minerals right! Even more healthy!....
underthesea12 24
5 second rule... no big deal.
FMLkoala 28
Just letting you know the 5 second rule doesn't exist. The bacteria gets onto the food instantly.
Djmaxn 13
And thanks to a healthy immune system, said bacteria is practically harmless.
kurodansei 16
There's that special seasoning you've been asking about. Gives the meal a wholesome earthy flavor.
blcksocks 19
You have no idea how glad I was to read "spaghetti" after "drop a load"
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
After all the shit I've read on here, I was prepared for it to say, " and scoop it into his pants." I have no idea why I thought that's what it was gonna say.
Soloman212 28
"Then as we continued our dinner with my parents, he began to sweat, and spaghetti began to fall out of his pockets."
ReignInBlood 11
That comment was genius, #5.
Forever1218 10
You don't like floor flavored spaghetti?
NoShit_Sherly 11
No
Melix 31
No. Mom's Spaghetti
Aspireworks 12
Sherlock AND The Doctor in the same thread. And here I thought I was straight.
FimogenFeels 14
Oh that's nasty ... Wonder how sanitary he's been with previous meals!
J_Kertz 14
Definitely read the first part of your comment in a Cleveland Brown voice.
AshleaJstudent 16
Maybe he knew you were watching and wanted to give you some incentive to start cooking.
eternal_malaise 10
Perhaps it's his secret technique.
vucui 21
A little dirt never hurt anybody! ...unless you rub it in a fresh wound.