Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I walked into a wall. I've lived in this house for nearly thirteen years, but I walked straight into it. FML
Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
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Top comments
Ugi 27
Well, at least you have a larger apartment now!
DocBastard 40
I'm not sure how it works in China where you're from, but where I live that's called a PARTY. After an incident like that, drunken debauchery is mandatory. I don't make the laws, I just follow them.
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Comments (80)
jackrreaper117 6
First! :)
Ugi 27
What happened to the fish girl?
Peachy2392 26
^That's exactly what I was wondering!
ashalayx 13
who is the fish girl? lol
Ugi 27
There was an FML about a girl with a new cat that ate her room-mate's fish. At least, I think there was, otherwise I may be the one with the memory of a goldfish .... oh look! A castle!
RedPillSucks 33
For Gods sake, I thought we'd gotten rid of "First" comments.
Ugi 27
Well, at least you have a larger apartment now!
GodPart2 20
And some roomies... Who sound like fun... Oh wait...
Ugi 27
Hang on! There was an FML about a girl and a fish. It got deleted. Then I asked where the FML with the girl and the fish went to. That got deleted too! I think there is an FML conspiracy of silence around girls with cats that eat fish! Or perhaps I'm hallucinating.
karlcolt45 19
no there is something...insert pun. but seriously. ANSWER US FML STAFF
feven 32
Sarcasm is sometimes hard to detect on social media/the internet.
airforce987 20
It is also difficult for a pun to be mistaken as sarcasm but that's what happened here
incoherentrmblr 22
Kinda reminds me of when they punch through the wall in the movie Ted, except OP will be the angry tenant afterwards.
hunts19ketchup 23
#68, actually they thumbed down your pun
DocBastard 40
I'm not sure how it works in China where you're from, but where I live that's called a PARTY. After an incident like that, drunken debauchery is mandatory. I don't make the laws, I just follow them.
sarah6786 14
Not really called a party for the person sitting innocently on the other side if the wall. Also not sure where you're from but around here that's called recklessness.
DocBastard 40
Wow, it seems everyone took their Seriousomycin this morning. It's just a joke, apparently a bad one. Back to the drawing board.
Dramori 29
Holy moly! Doc got negative votes! :O
OptimusVader 23
I thought your comment was hilarious. It was obviously not serious.
JACKxRAWR 22
So long as they sort it out, I don't really see the problem.
Cadillac4427 8
REALLY?! HE HAS a hole in the wall,..like something out of an old Warner Brothers Cartoon.
Shrouds 14
it was just a joke Doc? and here I was gonna invite you to my reckless and shameless parties.
perdix 31
#47, no need to apologize, Doc, by now, you should know who has a sense of humor and who does not.
Jasper1405 16
Well, that is one way to greet the new neighbors...
Clearly 7
I feel simultaneously empathetic and impressed. Also, good luck finding a new apartment as I'm you will be doing that soon.
Clearly 7
I feel simultaneously empathetic and impressed. Also, good luck finding a new apartment as I'm sure you will be doing that soon!
Ugi 27
There seems to be an echo in here.
Clearly 7
I'm slightly confused because I tried to edit my comment and it just left a comment on my comment. I'm not sure how to remedy this..
Ugi 27
One of the FML staff will probably wander by and fix it some time - then I'll look an idiot!
Clearly 7
Can we all agree that the true idiots in this FML are the ones who thought it would be a good idea to run through a wall?
karlcolt45 19
it's called urban bull fighting. have you ever been on meth? no? alright don't judge meth-ador's unless you've been one.
Ugi 27
If it makes me leap through walls, I'm quite content giving meth' a miss, thanks all the same.
karlcolt45 19
when Walter offers you a free sample, you take it man.
FezzesAreCool 18
On the plus side, you'll probably be getting a new apartment.
ChenEighty 20
And if they go through three more apartments, they might break the fourth wall
WCARlover 35
Rotted wall...that sounds really unsafe health wise...
RadikulRam 16
Welcome to Shangai, China. My friend went there to find himself or some shit, and took the first plane back. With that much pollution and poverty, rotten walls are the least of your concern.
GayPride_52412 11
Now's its a bigger party.
perdix 31
Alcohol: Putting the "community" back into "communism" for over a hundred years! Private property is so bourgeois and overrated.
karlcolt45 19
welcome to the predetermined great united space of shared enjoyment!