Parasocial vibes

Is this Brexit?

Today, in the same sentence, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to "spend the rest of his life with me," and "I want to break up with you because I can't face your family." FML

Gamers rise up

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because his online gaming friends don't like it when I ask him to spend time with me. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He said it was because he wanted to 'do his own thing'. So gaming 24/7 like he has for the past two years of our relationship, then. FML

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me that he had cheated on me two months ago with my best friend. I decided to give him a second chance. About twenty minutes later, he then broke up with me for not wanting to watch football. Apparently I don't care about his feelings. FML

Next time, wait a couple of years

Today, my boyfriend met my parents, siblings, and some other family members. Thirty minutes later, he broke up with me and stormed out, yelling no way was he staying with me because they’re all fucking psychotic. He's my second boyfriend driven away by my family. FML

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

Independence day

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents' house. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

It's a beautiful life

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML