Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new neighbor just put up really loud wind chimes. I just got a ton of letters under my door, stating if I don't take them down, they're going to file a noise complaint with the building management. She owns her condo, I don't. FML
Today, my husband is very liberal. Normally this is a good thing, but the people across the street have put out a TRUMP sign and he's gone nuts. He built a massive HARRIS/WALZ sign in our front yard and is hassling the rest of the neighborhood about it. Half of them are putting out TRUMP signs out of spite. FML
Today, I discovered that my neighbors had held a secret "meeting" to discuss how annoying my "constant singing" as I go about my days in my apartment. They even made a petition, with over ten signatures, asking me to "cease and desist." FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML
Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
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Top comments
HSOMGF 5
Tell them to move to Kansas and join the WBC.
MrDiezel 3
What does this have to do with you
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Comments (117)
Bobissmall 13
Wouldn't be the same if people didn't have a crazy neighbour?!
iSitt 0
there goes the neighborhood
milky953 0
it wouldn't be the same and I luv neighbors like that
banana_buddy 6
Guess ull be seeing her in hell then
docscientist 10
No, Westbro church. Where cool stories are made every day.
MrDiezel 3
What does this have to do with you
sieera00 8
at least ur neighbor doesn't tell you to stop playing basketball when it's 8:00 (p.m.)
quicheme45 0
ya how is this f your life?
HSOMGF 5
Tell them to move to Kansas and join the WBC.
NancyDeebensDPDS 0
westboro church? yes.
SirEBC 7
I'll bet the person who voted your guys' comments down has absolutely no idea who those people are and what they stand for.
blackbird31 0
Joke is on them. Hell doesn't exist.
milkndstufff 7
it does if your a satanist
AlucarDraculA14 0
it is not Westboro Baptist Church. its Westboro Baptist Cult.
Abbiesaur 0
They are extremists. Extremely extreme extremists.
Hidan_fml 0
#1, when I first read this FML, I thought of the exact same thing, instead I was going to say "Is his/her name Fred/Shirley Phelps?"
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Similar thing happened to me when mel Gibson came to visit. He threw rocks at children claiming they were devils and would throw boiling water on nuns trying to give them exorcisms. However I got to say his cooking was fantastic
ovechkinisbeast 9
world baseball classic? XD
optimystic 0
amen.
docscientist 10
No, Westbro church. Where cool stories are made every day.
Lustuu_fml 14
I hope hell is real, and LMAO
kei1108 13
wow. how insensitive are you guys? aren't you doing the exact same thing by saying rude things about another religion?
choirnerd9 0
The WBC is not a religion, it is a cult of racist homophobes and their children that try to cover their hatred with religion.
catnip216 0
You can probably report it to the city as an eyesore, and then they might make him/her remove them.
thatonename 7
neighbor claims religious reasons. city can't do anything... shitty, but that's all that'll happen.
rob935 5
If it's in their own house, how does this affect the OP? Not an FML, more of an "I'm a peeping-tom".
ktdad07 0
I hate peeping toms. Every time I go out on my lawn to do naked pilates
QueenOfBoredom 0
haha i see what you did there
heyred 11
It's on the lawn, not in the house.
gibby1235 6
oh I get it. so if happen to be passing by someones house and a sign catches my eye and I look that automatically makes me someone a peeping Tom. it all makes sense now.
gibby1235 6
oh I get it. so if happen to be passing by someones house and a sign catches my eye and I look that automatically makes me someone a peeping Tom. it all makes sense now.4
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, you still don't make sense. ^
erongetti 2
you need to be a home-owner to understand what op is trying to say. or at least have had a bad neighbor before... it sucks. fyl op! I can just imagine the chats over the fence you'll have!
clacombe 1
I agree with you totally
milkndstufff 7
You should be thankful. He knows what's up. probably just wants to make everyone aware that they should all stop being shit *****.
mintcar 10
Psycho neighbor is psycho. Stay away from him/her.
mintcar 10
Psycho neighbor is psycho. Stay away from him/her.
Doortje 30
Make his/her life a living hell.