Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML
Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder." That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
headinabag33 tells us more.
Hey...OP here. So in this theatre there are two curtains. The second one (more up stage, away from the audience) has been broken. So we just open both curtains, since the second one never opens. We perform in front of it and it's no big deal. We get some great lighting off it really, and once we had someone stand back there and shake it and looked cool. Someone fixed the second curtain without telling us. The actors were having sex behind the "broken" curtain and it opened. No one told them to stop because they were quiet, and no one wants to tell people to quit having sex... So anyway, there it is.
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML
Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML
Today, my neighbor was having work done in his apartment, and he'd warned me that there might be some noise. Yes, there was, what with all the town's firemen in the building after he'd ruptured the main gas pipe. FML
Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML
Ouka_fml tells us more.
Ouka_fml 7
OP here :) First of all, thank you all for your advice! I'm afraid though, that it's a rather small company (around 10 full time employees) so we don't have an HR departement. I'm not sure about the difference between "being fired" and "being laid off", but my situation could be described as: "being fired because my company decided to save some money and that they didn't need someone on the position I'm currently working at." Here in Germany we get ALG (Arbeitslosengeld, roughly translates to "unemployment money") for a year after working for at least two years. It's around 60% of the persons original salary. The catch is: you only get it, if you're fired or quit for (very) good reasons (harassment, threats, etc.). If you quit without one of those reasons you don't get anything for 1-3 months. Also you don't get it for 3 months if you're fired because of anything you did (stealing, forgery...) So it's a tricky situation right now. I wrote my boss an email explaining most of the things you stated (that I feel uncomfortable forging his signature, for example) and asking whether it wasn't possible for me to just write the notice and have him sign it as soon as he's back. This way I have to set the date back, because I can only be fired with a 2 months' notice which isn't stricly legal, but he agreed to it. He isn't really that bad of a person, actually that whole idea came from HIS boss and he was just the unlucky messenger. So yeah, I'm going to write the notice and put it on his desk to sign once he gets back and hope, the whole mess turns out alright.
Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I was observing a children's class as a part of a training program. The teacher asked me to take one kid to the nurse's office because she wasn't feeling well. As soon as we step outside, I slip and fall down, taking the little girl with me. FML
Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML
Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML
MikaykayUnicorn tells us more.
Hi, I'm the OP. To clarify, he comes from a terrible home. Mother is a druggie, father is abusive. Doesn't get much attention, so I decided to give him a little. I didn't think, however, he would get upset every time I tried to do something else. He is a really sweet kid, he just has a lot of energy and no one wants to spend any time with him so the energy is built up. And by "cries," I didn't mean tears, (his father would hit him whenever he cried and tell him to be a man, so he doesn't cry) I meant crying as in whining.
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML
anniemonkat tells us more.
OP here. Yes, a letter would have been better, but I was scheduled for a shift that I couldn't make it to, due to having two jobs and time was of the essence. If I called off of my shift, I was afraid I would be fired. Furthermore, they would not let me find someone else to cover my shift, believe me, I tried. The shifts would not have coincided if either place would give me a schedule. But they wouldn't. Work was also closed, so I couldn't go in person to explain. I gave as much notice to my manager as I possibly could by calling. I had no contact information other than the store's phone number that I found online. At the time of the phone call, I was TRYING to give my 2 weeks notice but the manager hung up before I could. Oh well.
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for "profiting from someone else's misfortune." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML
Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML
Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML
nightfall8705 tells us more.
OP here! There is so much more to this story than I'm not going into, but the jist of it is this: I was to replace this chick who was supposed to be moving to Texas with her "church" and I was perfect to fill in her absence. The dumbledouche hiring manager told me several times I was hired and that the girl was moving and all that. Then the excuses start for why I couldn't take my test. First, the computer was down. Second, the manager said he was managing 3 stores at once because another manager had a "heart attack", and the third time was because he "had an emergency" situation last week, and told me to come in yesterday. After the test, he broke the news to me that his thundercunt (my words, not his) employee decided she wasn't going to move to Texas after all, because her baby daddy were here and she needed money from him and that she found out the welfare was better in SC than Texas. I probably won't even get paid for my time, but that's not even what I'm pissed about. Turns out that "emergency" the hiring manager had was a vacation in Hawaii. He must have forgotten the lie he told me, because those words came directly from his cum balloon mouth. I've got an interview for a job on Monday for an even better restaurant anyway, so screw em'.
Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML
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