Tonight, on First Dates…

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

But I'm a man

Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML

Freak

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

Is this catfishing?

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

Tipping culture wars

Today, during a first date, we discovered we had complete opposite views on tipping. Neither of us wanted to back down, so we spent an hour debating economics instead of getting to know each other. At the end, the server thanked us for the entertainment and asked if we'd be coming back. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML