Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
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Top comments
hippodankamus 22
*incoming puns related to shit and poop*
gm1beanzz 14
Birds are assholes.
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Comments (51)
Twigman55 7
Guess your in deep shit?
DFMLharsh 20
Oh please, its *you're. Its alright to not be sound with grammar but just make sure you don't make a blunder as a first comment. Rest, I am sorry if this was offensive. (fml has warned me already for being a Grammar Nazi)
assassinbanana0 20
Wish people would learn by now the "shitty puns" really aren't that funny
itssnotfunny 24
Well that's a shitty start.
gm1beanzz 14
Birds are assholes.
False_Stupidity 42
And this bird's arsehole is literally the problem here.
rabid_otaku 29
Birds actually lack anal sphincters.
Brandi_Faith 34
Well that explains a lot 43! It's just pouring out and they can't stop it. Yuck.
tormcn 26
I hope you didn't ruin your hair to get it out. Yikes!
flopstar 21
I don't understand how this got down voted, I do hope it didn't mess her hair up.
MortenM 17
It don't really matter. Great time to test customer service. If they don't offer to fix it, don't come back
Brandi_Faith 34
I think it probably got down voted because people think there's no way it didn't get ruined. I mean in order to get the poop out she would've had to wash it, thus destroying the whole style. :( I would've walked right back in and see if they could help wash and fix it. Hopefully they'd give a discount, but if not, it's probably worth paying to get it out right away and still get a nice style
thewcloner 22
Thats a crappy situation to be in
hippodankamus 22
*incoming puns related to shit and poop*
cmonger 27
You're about three puns too late there, #6.
DFMLharsh 20
They aren't poopular anymore. Shit, I made a shit related pun. Well, crap.
JayGatsby 25
#16, when I read "poopular", I read it in Lucille Ball's voice in the vitameatavegemin episode which made your comment even funnier :D
KhaleesiDannie 26
Are you unpoopular? Do you pop out at parties?
TheSgLeader 21
Ouch, that must have sucked, after all the work you put into it. I hope you got enough time to redo it. FYL
brandan020 10
at lest the bird had good tastes
Dom_Olivares 12
Could you show them the surprise you received and maybe they could fix it?
TheBelt 19
Sorry about the hair O.P mabey they could fix it for you since you just got it done.