Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy said "Mommy" and the mom looked down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walked out. The boy had pissed on the floor. FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
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Top comments
wreckroller 0
did you know that traps are gay?
ArbiterOfFML 24
that is awkward.
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Comments (10)
wreckroller 0
did you know that traps are gay?
Jen Wudyka 4
what does that mean? traps?
SailorSolaris 43
A guy dressed as a girl.
Hippo_Holiday 19
*cough cough*
ArbiterOfFML 24
that is awkward.
taintedtruffle 42
e tu, kid?
Saffron Nightshade 12
You had to ask XD
manb91gb 15
10 years on, I can't help but wonder what happened with your son 😂
Baby_123 8
Is it wrong to be gay? Get woke idiot
vibexeno 7
what's wrong with that?little man got taste
IHaveThePower 18
At that age, it's completely random, that was probably just the first thing that popped into his head. Actual causative effects don't really happen until they're in their teens or so, and even then, you can end up in that situation just randomly. It doesn't really mean anything.