The Top

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By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 073

You deserved it 58 950

By insearch4i - 22/01/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 875

You deserved it 31 188

Never cheap out on trash bags

By Trash Fail - 21/12/2022 00:00

Today, I tried to replace my garbage can's trash bag. Every time I tried to pick it up, it would rip. Now my only option is to physically take everything out of it and pray to the Gods of Garbage that I get a trash can that doesn't have the durability of 1-ply toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 239

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE

By Krey85 - 12/12/2022 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 170

By Username - 18/02/2011 05:19

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 489

You deserved it 4 984

By Kika - 20/01/2009 07:59 - France

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 033

You deserved it 4 614

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 03:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 141

Me, myself, and I

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 14:00 - United States - DeWitt

Today, I was tempted into clicking a shady link with the promise of free MP3s of De La Soul’s first four albums, with all the original samples. Long story short, I had to do a system restore on my laptop. Now it won’t play audio files for some inexplicable reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 802

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 236

HELP!

By CandyMachine - 16/02/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 9 849

By GopherJR - 19/01/2009 01:07 - Canada

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 886

You deserved it 2 424

Rabies ain't no joke

By No good deed... - 02/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 152

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 22:00

Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 80

Alas…

By Chris - 13/02/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 7 395

Lost

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 362

This charming man

By NoAlibi - 06/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that it’s unwise to ask my cheating boyfriend, “What does she have that I don’t?” I was reduced to tears when he told me every single detail this new girl has that makes her so amazing. Now I’m researching plastic surgery and tummy tuck websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 344

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 68

By This girl - 19/12/2011 18:01 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 338

You deserved it 3 395

iPhone 8? So bougie.

By PoorAfMan - 03/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend who doesn’t pay bills, still lives at her parent’s rent free, and hasn't finished her Associate’s is debating what color she should order her iPhone 13 in. Meanwhile, I have a Master’s, pay an astronomical amount in mortgage and bills, and still have the iPhone 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 375

Lockdown throwback!

By Let it bleed - 09/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 103

By ImNotFat - 18/02/2015 04:22 - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 3 290

By satega - 17/11/2012 09:15 - United States - Smithville

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 3 526

Compromises

By DepressionBetty - 11/10/2021 08:00

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 349

I hate Mondays

By Leaving Early Fail - 12/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 266

You deserved it 11 743

Gross dude, dude

By GhostPenguin - 08/10/2021 17:01 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 185

Nice friend you've got there

By DebbyDowner - 06/01/2023 12:00

Today, my best friend decided to get herself a new puppy. My dog passed away last week. She named it the same name and got the same breed as mine was. She sees nothing wrong and can’t understand why I’m upset. In fact, she tells me to “stop being a Debbie Downer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 1 283

Sympathetic

By Sorry kitty - 14/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 156

By sarahcurtis213 - 13/11/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 072

You deserved it 5 339

By x - 12/11/2012 02:16 - United States - Lake Placid

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 590

You deserved it 6 616

By mmromig - 08/02/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 523

You deserved it 5 597

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The Top

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 2 876

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 251

You deserved it 69 103

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 89 716

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 3 041

Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 351

Today, my daughter learned a new phrase: “Sleep Paralysis Demon.” It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining, she sobbed for almost 15 minutes, and that's a very long time when the tears and screaming are constant and without a pause. The neighbours knocked on the door because they were worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 72