Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Karaoke Dinner Disaster
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Next
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Impressive!
Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Drama!
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
He's a keeper
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Anyone who says "threesome" is an idiot. There, I said it.
ramboman19 8
that must've sucked. :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
ceddyz17 10
first bitchess
commodore350 0
that sucks
nooriginalnames 0
first haha all u are just jealous, but that's sucks for you op you should just tell her you'll ride her instead if her boyfriend
zkchild 0
haha sounds like a keeper
randiZ25 0
I see a second date in the making....
zinoxity 23
"Her boyfriend" = Not happening.
polysyllabist 3
Not only "not happening", but THANKFULLY not happening. OP got out lucky! Seriously, who wants to date a girl with a boyfriend who drinks beer by the gallon on a non-date?? (PS, if you raise your hand I'm going to make a crude Arkansas joke at your expense ... and it will probably have something to do with your family tree not forking)
MissBunny25 0
so... did you have a good time?
LetItRise 0
she prolly has a crazy beer belly drinking that much beer
largefoofighter 0
Sounds like you have high standards OP
kyarush 10
and women say we are pigs?
ejejeje 0
only in arkansas.
kiddeadpool 0
You are an ass for letting her get that drunk on your expense. you better cut that bitch off! I hope you make her feel bad and rub it in her face about how ****** up she was towards you
MW2nBAKE 0
this is epic shit ha! she a **** probably
pimplayer 0
her boyfriend let her go on a date cuz his cheap ass doesn't have money to buy his gal a drink haaa
esu 5
classy as ****
jcrob 0
she drank that much and u couldn't seal the deal? what's wrong with u? take her home and put her away... then kick her drunk ass out cause she has a bf
flyingsheep1838 0
Actually, anyone who has tried the gallon challenge (thats me) knows you can't hold that much liquid in your stomach, let alone drink that much alcohol without suffering liver failure or alcohol poisoning...I call liquid quantity embelishment or fake!
Osito2011 9
Sorry dude! if her boyfriend had to pick her up, it was not a date but two friends hanging out
culo91483 8
Your picture goes perfect with the comment.
ramboman19 8
that must've sucked. :/
brettj69 0
YDI for asking a girl in a relationship with someone else on a date. Was that supposed to be a smart idea?
IHeartJimi02 0
What if op didn't know that she was in a relationship?
DocBastard 40
Anyone who says "threesome" is an idiot. There, I said it.
mycookiezz 0
Therefore, one could assume you are an idiot also for your blatant use of the word "Threesome"? ..... Damn, I'm one too, lol
Shootamonkey3 0
Aw man he beat me to it!
mycookiezz 0
Haha. Me-1 You-0... Of course this score is in giga-points. haha
zinoxity 23
He quoted it. You: -2 Me: Infiniti+1.
docscientist 10
I think you just lost at your own game, mycookiez.
DocBastard 40
No, mycookiezz, it wasn't blatant anything. I tire of seeing the same old "joke" repeated ad nauseum. This includes threesome, shitty situation, urine trouble, Soviet Russia, sammich, and pussy jokes. Get it? They aren't funny. Move on.
MissBunny25 0
Doc has done it again. he has owned yet another FML bitch. *face melts off*
LetItRise 0
those soviet Russia jokes are garbage, those fags who say em should just fk off n die
dashilis 1
missbunny, where was the ownage? it seems more like doc is being a sour little bitch to me. this the Internet, all dead horses will be beaten endlessly. if you don't like it, get off the Internet or just ignore it.
mycookiezz 0
Doc is one of my FML idols. Much respect. Its cool. I'm still
mycookiezz 0
Charlie Sheen Winning. Btw Doc, I tire of the same jokes too.
DocBastard 40
Dashilis, thanks for the advice. I'm sorry for being such a sour little bitch. I will get off your Internet immediately. Oh, and you're right - this is the Internet, and all idiotic trolls will be called out as such, you idiotic troll. See what I did there?
SirEBC 7
DocBastard: Making the Internet a better place, one idiotic troll at a time. *Explosions*
rallets 23
ahh dammit, "urine trouble" already got added to the list? :( i dont care who you are, thats funny no matter what
Shootamonkey3 0
Cool guys don't look at explosions...
myschyveus 0
66- I did, and am not impressed. plus comedy is a matter of subjective opinion. yours is not absolute. OP, you made her boyfriend pay though, right??
RedPillSucks 33
iknowright. I was gonna say that I kinda like the "urine trouble" jokes *sheepishly hangs head*
myschyveus 0
90- as well you should. hell eminem made one, so no sheepish head hanging necessary.
rallets 23
i agree with #89, just cause you dont find anything funny doesnt mean that something just isnt funny. no need to be a buzzkill, let others enjoy the joke without having to worry about someone being a party pooper. that being said, urine trouble and in a shitty situation if you make a pussy sammich while having a threesome in soviet russia. whoo yea i just combined all of those into one massive epic joke, consider your mind ******. bring on your worst, im ready >:D
DocBastard 40
Ok, ok, I admit those jokes are funny...if you have the maturity level of a middle schooler or if you haven't seen them 17,632 times before. Yes, humour is subjective. But repetition kills humour no matter how funny it was the first time.
CateXOX 0
Jokes are funny when they're clever or well executed. Saying 'u could of had a threesum' because you've seen seen it on just about every FML with three people involved isn't clever or funny. If they're well done though, not that I can think of an instance where they are, it could be funny. And yes, I realize I just made this string off comments nerdy and pathetic.
Autoshot 9
Docs opinion is indeed absolute. Everyone knows that.
jess6blondie9 3
Doc is right. Those jokes get old REALLY fast.
rallets 23
meh theyre still funny
jackofdimonds 3
threesome
jackofdimonds 3
urine problems, and if I get lucky enough, foursome. FTW
BadasS14 0
Do you hear that? it sounds like dickriding b!tches against funny jokes
mocohall 6
agreed
thecrazyasian 3
threesome.
hedgerow 0
YDI for saying: 'too drunk too drive home'. Don't drink ANYTHING when you drive.
Jrefinne 7
I agree. Drinking at all makes you too drunk to drive.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
There's a legal limit. Some people are too easily affected by alcohol to have even a few sips and then operate heavy machinery. Other people have a higher tolerance and aren't even "buzzed" after a few drinks.
TobyFunke 3
thank you, someone had to flame these people. Cant drive if you've had a drop of alcohol?? PLEASE!!! Someone needs to grow up, I'm 6'4'', it takes more than a few beers to make me unable to drive safely
Captain_Zorro 7
im glad to know that you have tested that theroy unfortionately your probably in my area...
jessdemi 0
don't drink and drive.....smoke and fly :)
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
102, you can't even spell the word unfortunately, making your whole comment seem less than intelligent. Just because he knows his limits doesn't mean he's been dabbling in drunk driving.
j_cat187 20
107 last time i got lost
MerNoEngrush 0
Wasn't the person who was drunk the girl and not the OP? you say it like he was drinking
hedgerow 0
82, you're reckless.
jessdemi 0
lol get 117 get a gps :) problem solved
dunner12 0
you sure it wads date.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
You have a way with words.
esu 5
yeah maybe it just wasnt a date...
mycookiezz 0
Soooo, you didn't get laid? lmao
pimpcakes2 11
Well, hopefully she didn't drink on your dime, op.
cldean24 4
Exactly what I was thinking.
Omar_S 0
he probably did pay that's why he posted it . who knows maybe he didn't and that's why she called her boyfriend!! lol
ckyorelse 18
YDI for not knowing she had a boyfriend before asking her on the "date"
savs11 13
I don't see how he would have. If you see someone you would assume they are single. If not, the person would tell you when you asked them out. It's not his fault he didn't know, it's the girls for not mentioning it and being a drunk *****.