Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
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Top comments
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
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Comments (69)
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
Isoldael 27
When the smell gets bad enough to taste it, I guess the only logical solution is a tracheotomy.
eric40962005 8
I guess people don't know what a tracheotomy is lol
annie_nk 23
Breathing through a tube connected to your throat? Yeah, I'd rather put up with the smell.
Isoldael 27
It's called sarcasm... Oh well :(
fymother 13
Use an antiperspirant/deodorant combination so you can't sweat off the deodorant
ScaryyMary 14
Well that stinks.
RaggleFrock 13
Wait... It doesn't stink?
Satirical 7
I smell a pun.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^BravO...hmm I'm not so happy with my pun..but I'll submit it anyway.
Coop817 19
#MascotProbs
Kal3Y 12
Sorry OP:(
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
No you're not.
MrSassypants 34
Actually, #4 is sorry; 4 was the one selling the deodorant to OP. For shame, 4, for shame.
nightowl713 25
Well that stinks OP! Joking aside, Buy some febreze, and some stronger deodorant?
Examine 7
It still probably would not work, since it reached 48 degrees Celsius.
waterkins 7
Put car refreshers in it. That or shave your armpits, less hair means less b.o.
hopelessteej 8
5, australia is an oven atm
theycallmekitty 13
Get some clinical strength deodorant!
zandalee 20
Take a toilet break and ask a coworker if you can use some of their deodorant.
happle 21
I personally wouldn't share my deodorant with someone that smells like a portapotty.
LolFMLnot 10
Use more than 1 kind of deodorant. Maybe it will help
Amama_fml 30
You could try using one of those little fans used for inflatable costumes and wear it inside you costume. And also, buy better deodorant.
kumonsucks 7
Well that sti--- forget it. Irish spring. **** axe
peachesncreem 21
I love Irish Spring. Unfortunately, we don't have it in Australia.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Send me your address and I'll hook you up, mate.
skoob1 12
Hmm... When I was a child, people were lured in with candy. Now, apparently all you need is deodorant...
OhDearBetrayal 25
My name is OhDearBetrayal, and I'm addicted to murdering Australians.
Trisha_aus 15
61- May I ask why? *hides*
kumonsucks 7
15 your cute af. Sexy austrailian women