Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
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Top comments
Dissapointment 11
Man this one sucks I swiped the wrong way and approved it
RichardPencil 32
Is this not a sign from the universe that maybe you ought to quit smoking?
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Comments (6)
cuz803 46
This is probably the most pathetic FML I've ever read.
Dissapointment 11
Man this one sucks I swiped the wrong way and approved it
RichardPencil 32
Is this not a sign from the universe that maybe you ought to quit smoking?
Hangryko 32
Quit smoking and this will never happen to you again.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know what kind of response you were expecting, but if you think this is bad, you need a new hobby. Might I suggest staring at grass growing? Actually... forget that. You'd probably be so pathetically desperate you'd try smoking it. And no, I'm not talking about THAT kind of grass.
lukey101 26
Wasn’t expecting any kind of response, just sharing an ironic scenario that happened to me. Which is literally the point of FML is it not?
SJKatt 15
Obligatory "Quit Smoking" suggestion here. I quit in 2018 and have never regretted it. However, for people who still smoke and have broken cigarettes: If your cig breaks in the middle, tear the top off and smoke it down, but leave a cm or so above the filter. Roll it in your fingers to get rid of the bits so you have a little empty tube space near the filter. Even out the piece of cigarette you broke off earlier and twist the end just a little bit so you can worm it back and forth into the empty space you have in front of the filter. Light and smoke. Do not tap or flick the ashes here, it'll fall right out.