Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML
Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML
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Top comments
WeAreScrewed 3
cant bee that bad
cradle6 13
Something about your actions in previous lives affecting your caste in this life. At least originally.
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Comments (163)
cradle6 13
Something about your actions in previous lives affecting your caste in this life. At least originally.
NiiTeH 7
Maybe HE was a bee! And he stung a 2-year-old.
cradle6 13
Also, the bee would've died after stinging her. Is that enough karmic revenge for you OP?
Calyx_fml 22
No, that's not it at all. Karma is anything that keeps us attached to identifying the thoughts and feelings from our mind as the root of our self. It is this attachment to our own minds that keeps us "reincarnating" from moment to moment, out of the dead past into the living present rather than merely living eternally now. In this regard, so called good karma is just as much an impediment to realizing this truth as bad karma. There is no good and bad, only attached and detached. At least that's my understanding of it.
DynamicDave 11
Only honeybees die after stinging.
cradle6 13
29-There's different beliefs about karma in different doctrines. In early Hinduism and Buddhism, it seemed Karma was a rationalization for the just world phenomenon (this is the belief that everyone gets what they deserve in life). That way, you didn't need to help anyone, as they brought their suffering upon themselves in a previous life.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Op must be hitler reincarnated.
urdirtyolduncle 15
I have a much simpler definition: what goes around comes around. Now, please award me my phD
LaughinStock 16
No 73!!! but I can give you a cookie :D huh would you like that buddy? A cookie.
Hardwaregeek 0
Also yoga was not about gaining muscle and losing weight, it was about finding enlightenment and peace. Buddhism incorporates reincarnation, however I think it is described as being a "bundle of energy" passed along
nonamericandolla 6
U can always rub Buddhas stomach for good luck :)
yearcity 0
life is suffering budda and caste is Hindu and a piece of shit too karma suffer you gain gain you suffer
WeAreScrewed 3
cant bee that bad
grahambertus 11
I mean it wasp just a sting.
absolutegrrr 7
Don't worry honey!
Jakesterk96 8
Hope you hive a nice day.
MagicallyFat 12
Last I heard Karma was a bitch. Must've done something that you were not aware of.
teddy4nyy 13
96 way to break the combo. That stings man
asoptavlo14 6
#96 buzz off.
freakinglaugher 10
-96 Go pollenate yourself.
Zazoo1995 23
To bee or not to bee.. That is the question.....
baseballplaya5 7
It's ok karma will get that bee!
vengeance501 8
Bee's die after they sting, so I'd say it already did.
indianguyinuk 12
if it was a honey bee karma already got that bee Edit - Damn 53 beat me to it
urdirtyolduncle 15
^look! It's an Indian guy in UK!
mcrluverchick 9
Maybe the bee was a messenger from God telling you to get out of the false god's shrine
justlikeme79 9
103- Maybe f**k you.
Me_You_Us 7
The bee is dead.. I always found it stupid: why do bee sting if they die right after it ?
white16sox 19
103, if you knew ANYTHING about Buddhism, you would know that Buddha isn't a god in that religion. He is like Muhammad in Islamic religions and Elijah in Christian religions. He was a messenger from God to the Earth in Buddhism. But hey you are obviously ignorant to actual knowledge.
addiizcherry 0
Actually, Buddhism can be a religion, or a way of life. The buddhist way of life is basically give up all worldly desires, and that Siddhartha Guatama was a teacher, not a god. The buddhist religion believes Siddhartha was a god.
ZeDolphinator 7
114: Bees die after they sting because their guts are attached to their stinger. Yes, you read that right.
HeartOnSleeves 8
Actually, the heart.
theguy33 1
Well karma isn't real and neither is budhism, no matter how many people practice in it the world it's not getting you anywhere. (I believe in Christianity)
jobunny 0
Tried to thumb down 103's comment and thumbed it up. ****.. :(
from_srilanka 7
You must be the definition of stupid! Please think before you talk next time. In Buddhism, Lord Buddha isn't a god. He was human being who taught the correct way of life. And, in Buddhism there is no ONE god who is powerful above all. In Buddhism, it teaches that everything is temporary, even gods.
Sonata90 26
#164, it must be nice being smarter than other people. I don't care if the commenter was right or wrong, but you calling others online "the definition of stupid" only makes you a bully. Everyone should be entitled to their opinions without having to deal with people like you.
matt98_fml 13
At least you aren't allergic to the bee's sting.. But you did a nice thing so that's good.
perdix 31
The bee was pissed that you stole its wax to make the candle. Otherwise, karma knows that you are secretly gleeful that your friend is having a rough time.
sirfsam 0
Hahaha, very funny
THE_A_TEEN 28
That certainly is a buzzing tale. Bee careful with bees. Pesky flying stingers. Buddah approves this comment!
AssassinsCRB 0
Buddha*
grahambertus 11
(disregard this comment, FML comment section is unable to recognize the sanskrit text for Buddha's name. Comment was edited in post)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Fine. *Buddha Here's a chocolate chip cookie for the correction... (::)
yummy_richkid 3
That's an awfully lousy cookie. (::::::) Needs more chocolate chips.
yummy_richkid 3
That's an awfully lousy cookie. (::::::) Needs more chocolate chips.
Squishypenguin 0
(:,'.:) cookie crumbs :D ' ; . .:.,,.,
diesel1226 0
Light a candle for the bee that is having a rough time in dealing with its aggressive tendencies.
lizard399 0
I enjoyed your comment. Puts mine to shame.. Next we shall light a candle for my comment who is having a rough time being inferior..
someone_cool 6
Well, it didn't have anger management problems, he was suicidal! Because when bees sting you, they lose their stinger, which is like taking poison to them! So, I feel sorry for the bees friends and relatives, and you OP of course!
freakinglaugher 10
My best friend was a bee. He always got made fun of, because he was yellow and black, while my hive was black and yellow. He had to join a gang to feel protected.. The Wasps. Well, he got into stealing honey, and being smoked, which only gave him more depression. One day I came by ... and ... he had ripped his stinger out. -True story.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
131- I was actually alot more interested in that story than I should have been lol.
BeccaHugs 17
Karmas a bitch. But it never specified who it would be a bitch to. Sometimes other people, sometimes you.
silentbutfunny 0
Karmas a bitch only if you are.
piccalo 4
Karma is a phenomenon which gives a relationship to our deeds and our luck.what I meant here by luck is what will happen to us unexpected.If u did good deeds you will get good luck.bad deeds bad luck.Important thing about this is it will not occur immediately.we do a lot of deeds everyday which may be good or bad.The relative effect of all these will come as luck.If we do good more we will get good luck and viceversa. The problem is we do not notice good luck often. But we worry about bad luck which results in what #9 said about karma.
LostThePlot 3
Karma is only a bitch if you ar.
MeLuvBewbs 7
Don't bee worried. You friend will soon bee better. Even though it must of felt like a sting in the ass, everything like karma will bee better.
silentbutfunny 0
No. You repeated "bee" unnecessarily. Leave the puns to the pros, honey.
teamjacob21 0
Why do people think the "bee" jokes are funny?
KiddNYC1O 22
It's just usual drunk Snooki, guys.
lizard399 0
Who said it was a negative thing? Maybe you would have lit yourself on fire and the gods sent a bee to save you! Bee grateful!
Levvy 22
Or maybe the beesting distracted them from meeting their true love. See? You can assume bad things too.
McAninch35 9
Life's a lot less fun that way, 33.