The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 253

You deserved it 8 852

By mommytobe - 05/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 523

Ewwww

By Mars - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 404

You deserved it 5 078

It's not for everyone

By Stacey - 07/05/2022 22:00

Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 182

Girl…

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 09:00 - Canada - Sydney

Today, I’m questioning everything about me. I’ve been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 3 years now, high school sweethearts if you will. Now I’m starting to question if I even like guys. I’ve never gotten off to a guy, but women? I’ve always gotten off to them. My boyfriend is so sweet, I don’t know how to do this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 226

By Icey_dan1 - 10/10/2010 15:16 - France

Today, I tried to jump through the closing train doors to make it in on time. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 821

You deserved it 27 654

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 8 428

Where d'you think you're going?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 03:00

Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 176

New year's resolution gone wrong

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. Feeling pumped, I grabbed what I thought was a light dumbbell. It wasn’t. I dropped it on my toe and screamed so loud that the gym bros around me stopped mid-workout to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 467

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 02:06 - United States - Deatsville

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 561

You deserved it 5 204

By phoenixditch - 23/05/2013 07:13 - United States - Burke

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 925

You deserved it 5 623

The cheek of some people

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 04:00

Today, I stayed at my mate's house over the weekend, but his mother threw me out, saying I’m was taking advantage of her hospitality. First, it’s her son's house, so it’s not even her hospitality, but also I was helping redecorate the whole house for free, so how was I taking advantage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 106

Get outta here

By Anonymous - 04/08/2023 20:00

Today, I went blueberry picking for the first time since I was a kid. In a huge lot with no one in it, a pickup truck choose to block us into a corner lot spot. When asked to move, the pickup driver said, “I hope the shade spot was worth it.” He then flashed a gun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 133

Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I finally left a one-star review for my doctor’s office. I mentioned my doctor was epic, but called them out on their poor billing practices. I got a call saying my awesome doctor actually owns the clinic. My next appointment is going to be so awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 360

Let down

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 06:00

Today, after an ex let me know I have a 19 year old-son. I was beyond excited so I spent the weekend with them and I can tell you now, the boy is a complete prick, and I prefer to continue to claim I’m childless rather than admit I fathered that arrogant, rude, selfish, entitled little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 632

Non perishable goods

By Anonymous - 04/08/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 144

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be the cool older cousin by teaching my nephew how to skateboard. He’s now doing tricks, and I’m sitting on the sidewalk with a sprained ankle because I haven't skated since the Bush administration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 468

By ewww - 30/07/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 4 023

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 05:00 - Canada

Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 158

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 2 767

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 979

You deserved it 61 361

Tell us more in the comments

By XRP123 - 11/08/2023 16:00

Today, another typical interaction with my ex-wife, which is always fun. Her: "Thank you for the e-transfer. When do you get back today?" Me: "Drop the kids off after 4." Ex-wife: "Sure. You could treat me with decency instead of acting like a controlling dictator." Eight more years of nonsense. I sure can pick 'em. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 968

Knowledge is power

By Wow, really? - 17/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I said that I wasn't expecting someone to say salt made a food sweet. My friend then decided to explain what salt is, a flavor enhancer, and "like when it's on the rim of a Margarita." Really? We're all in college and I'm the only one who keeps their grades up. I know what the fuck salt is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 370

Communication breakdown

By FML - 08/11/2009 10:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. Twenty minutes into the job, I was told, "Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go." Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 478

You deserved it 2 423

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 11:01 - Germany

Today, my teenage daughter insisted it was my job to take down the tray full of empty dishes, because I was the one who had carried it upstairs. Sound logic, so far. Why had I carried the tray upstairs? To serve her breakfast in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 839

By justthinkofyourhand - 13/07/2014 22:36 - United States - Salida

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 594

You deserved it 4 979

By kay - 01/06/2012 21:08 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 4 361

Wreck

By Car Problems - 03/03/2021 20:01

Today, I paid over $500 to pick up my car from the mechanic, after it'd spent almost a month there. It broke down again on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 84

No way

By Adam curran - 24/04/2022 06:00

Today, my roommate expected me to help them buy them car, or loan them some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 118

By derranged - 22/04/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 73 520

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 4 375

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 3 518

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 308

You deserved it 2 467

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 619

Today, I bought a $50 Nintendo eShop card to redeem on my Nintendo Switch. As I was scratching the grey area, I scratched too hard, making it hard to see what it was. I tried randomly guessing and asking for help. Neither helped. Guess who didn't get $50 back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 857

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 653