The Top

So, I'm the person that submitted this, I made an account to clear up confusion on my story. This wasn't an engagement ring, or a promise ring, just something to say that he loved me. The ring wasn't ridiculously expensive, and I'm grateful for it AND him, no matter what the price is. I wasn't complaining about him, more like ranting about what happened. I thought it was funny, and thought that other people might too. Trust me, I know that I'm very lucky, and fortunate to have a guy like him, even if he didn't take the moment seriously. But, that's what makes him special in my eyes, since he has a sense of humor. :)

By Anon - 06/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 975

You deserved it 5 615

A bit weird, mom

By let it go already! - 07/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my mom was serious when she said she’d never get over me dumping my ex. While babysitting my 6 month-old daughter, she took her to meet said ex for lunch while I was at work. Problem? He’s not my daughter’s father and I broke up with him when I was 16. My husband is pissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 01:30 - Canada

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 4 108

Big yikes

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 101

By Leenotgay - 25/09/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 3 665

A way out

By BurninLuna - 08/02/2022 16:01

Today, I found multiple dating apps in my boyfriend's phone, hidden in a folder with his calculator and calendar. His excuse? He said he was never going to meet up with any of them, he just needed to have a back-up plan. We have been together for five years and live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 138

By Radio GaGa - 27/10/2014 16:25 - Canada

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 372

You deserved it 3 166

Life imitates art

By PinchMe - 29/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 135

Sweaty

By not_very_smart - 24/07/2013 06:44 - United States

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 4 850

Catch!

By babybreath - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 404

You deserved it 10 357

Alpha

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 18:01

Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 298

Do as you're told

By Fuck u - 30/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 110

By unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 39 201

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 352

You deserved it 450

Destiny

By Sara - 05/05/2023 10:00 - United States - San Clemente

Today, I was writing a research paper for my psych class and read that people who have attempted suicide are seven times more likely to die from heart disease at a young age. I had a sudden chest pain, and I’ve had four suicide attempts between age 9 and 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 269

Spice

By MouserMan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Olds

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 595

You deserved it 4 404

Neat

By ohhi_itsme123 - 16/12/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 651

You deserved it 30 400

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 590

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 533

You deserved it 20 559

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 258

You deserved it 5 289

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 161

Today, I found out that my ex has a “new” girlfriend. I’ve been romantically involved with the ex off and on since our breakup 2 years ago, which just so happens to be how long they’ve apparently been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 777

Today, my 37 year-old fiance is calling off our wedding for a 21 year-old woman from Colombia he’s been talking to online. He’s gonna marry her and bring her to the US. He’s been using ChatGPT to speak with her in Spanish. I’ve spent over $5000 on our wedding and was picking up my dress next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 72