Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML
Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
Today, I got on the bus and the driver said I didn't have to pay since the ticket machine was broken. I was happy to have saved £2.40 until I realised someone had stolen my new £700 phone while I was talking to the driver. FML
Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML
Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
This is what constitutes humour these days? What happened to whoopie cushions and rubber chickens and fart jokes? In my day, we, uh...shit, I forget. But it was funny, dammit!
rg350dx 29
Drew penises on your friends' cave paintings? Chiseled obscenities on your teacher's rock slab?
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Comments (72)
cheezitz59 10
Unlucky
soccerstar1996 18
Looks like Mr. Krabs is at it again!
Pwn17 25
No, if it were Mr. Krabs, he would get his money AND an item.
webbface 25
Exactly #14, Mr. Krabs is not gonna get punked out by friend and a vending machine when it comes money.
soccerstar1996 18
I meant that mr krabs was behind the vending machine
TheCanucklehead 22
Mr. Krabs inserts $1 and gets $20 in return
T9FTW 20
#14, You are missing the joke. Mr. Krabs DID get both an item and the money in that scenario because he was behind the machine.
Pwn17 25
30 Well I get that now. At first, it didn't seem obvious to me that that's what 12 was saying. Call it stupid on my part, but oh well.
webbface 25
Don't worry 39, I saw it the way you did too.
Mynameislinh 24
Those dang vending machines...
MDTeddy 13
Normally they do return your money. The ones that don't are usually the ones that look like they come out of a dumpster.
DocBastard 40
This is what constitutes humour these days? What happened to whoopie cushions and rubber chickens and fart jokes? In my day, we, uh...shit, I forget. But it was funny, dammit!
rg350dx 29
Drew penises on your friends' cave paintings? Chiseled obscenities on your teacher's rock slab?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Tired your wife's hair to a sleeping sabertooth tiger's tail?
tj4234 36
Stuck a bottle up your anus and took an x ray?
hallix 21
Ding-dong ditched a wooly mammoth and decided that the last one back to camp was a human pancake?
Pwn17 25
29-What the ****?
tj4234 36
@42. Look at docbasturds picture.
Pwn17 25
43-Oh. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even know what that was until now.
bandeek 30
That's not an xray of him... I don't think he's that stupid.
ViRepz 28
But you are.
jonmansheppard 9
According to his blog, it was one of his more idiotic patients. He's a trauma bay doctor.
PterodactylMan 23
Spare Change.... Spare Change...
thrAsHeRr9081 16
California takes care of the homeless...
oj101 33
Shake that thing and show the vending machine who's boss. It'll crap itself and give out freebies.
Donat96 20
That's how people end up dead.
MissMustard 20
I hope your friend at least gave you a piggyback home to make up for it.
steve31789 8
It's all fun and games until someone loses there pocket change!!
DocBastard 40
Where pocket change? There pocket change! Try "their", genius. And technically it should be "his" since "someone" is singular.
steve31789 8
Lol sure thing buddy
jjessen 20
To be honest, Doc is correct, THERE is no doubt about it
steve31789 8
I see, grammar is very vital on this site cite sight
Axipiter 24
Good observation. If you can't pass third grade grammar, you shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.
steve31789 8
I
steve31789 8
I can't use grammar right I'm a failure at life :(
sadistmonkey 19
Actually, "they" is commonly used as a gender neutral third person singular pronoun, so "their" can be correct (and Webster backs me up). "There" is obviously incorrect though.
vballgirly28 16
Did you make your friend give you bus money? But FYL anyways
violette_tiger 7
At least you will do some exercise by walking home! ;)
violette_tiger 7
P
kandaceelena 8
I hope your friend plans on paying you back.