Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML
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Top comments
Wanderlei Santos 11
actually they are specially made for people who want a full tan.
RichardPencil 32
As much as I like boobs, I imagine in a few days they won’t be very a-peeling.
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Comments (26)
Wanderlei Santos 11
actually they are specially made for people who want a full tan.
cperagui 18
I need this in my life
alycion 39
They are usually marked as tan through. I just assume they are now and lather up before putting them on. I’ve burned through rash guards.
thelittlem 15
I feel like this should be in the worst section
TCRII 30
Ouch!
dexter420 21
I am truly sorry to hear that. On the bright side I would like to volunteer to apply the aloe. Again sorry. No hot tubs 😞
RichardPencil 32
As much as I like boobs, I imagine in a few days they won’t be very a-peeling.
Lobby_Bee 18
So, you have an all natural red bikini now? Awesome! Most people have the white ones.
ARISKomuniszt 24
are you implying black women don't wear bikinis?!?1?!1!1!?
eyepuppy 31
Really? Do we have to bring race into a simple funny, light-hearted comment? Anyone with half a brain would understand that was not what he meant.
Sinshine 28
Are you illiterate?
Davros 12
well if they aren't felt they should be
azouwa 26
I'm just here to read what the pervs have to say. Sorry OP. your life sucks.
MyS3lf 24
Happened to me once before, although I'm mostly of Irish heritage so I limit the amount of time I spend in the sun because I'll burn with spf 50 on, anyway, that's why I always put sunblock on every inch of my body before putting on a bikini. That and sometimes if you move around too much so does your suit and then you get weird sunburn streaks. Hope you get to feeling better soon!
eyepuppy 31
As I always say, "We Irish tan red."
ARISKomuniszt 24
If you want to protect your skin I suggest a burkini