Today, my parents got mad at me because I laughed when they called the bullseye "bonsai" while watching darts. They've always thought it was bonsai. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
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Top comments
ArcaneBullshit 21
That's okay! My brother used to think organism was ******, all the way up to freshman year of highschool
writerchic85 26
I guess they think those little trees are called bullseye trees.
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Comments (10)
ArcaneBullshit 21
That's okay! My brother used to think organism was ******, all the way up to freshman year of highschool
Lucario227 22
Yeah, whenever they hit the center a group of soldiers spring from the bushes and charges them with bayonets.
writerchic85 26
I guess they think those little trees are called bullseye trees.
LyricaSilvan 30
I have a friend who didn't know that yellow, flowering dandelions and their white, puffy seeding forms were the same plant until she was in high school. We were discussing making wishes on dandelions and somehow the fact that the yellow ones were also dandelions came up, and I found out she'd never known the two were the same plant. Blew my mind.
megatron93 5
hmm, thanks for the science lesson! I didn't know that either! seriously, not kidding....
slingerslasher 24
someone call a geologist? we have an earth-shatteringly important fml here
worthypegram1 13
How did they both grow up thinking it was the exact same incorrect thing?
mhvo4 2
Je ziet het wel vaker met Nederlanders die een woord niet goed verstaan en er een ander woord van maken. Zoals bijvoorbeeld met Mama appelsap ?
FlexMaster 10
hey, just...stop
KuranNayuki 4
Actually, they probably thought it was "Banzai" which is a common Japanese exclamation of celebration. So if you hit a bulls eye, you yell "banzai". It's been spread all over the world the past few decades. I think you were actually a little presumptuous, sorry dude.