Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
While it seems that you have a binge-drinking problem and your bf cheats with your bff in yfb (your ******* bed), the most serious issue here is: Your grammar. "One TOO many", not "to." I'll bet your friend knows to-too-two, and that's why your boyfriend banged her.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You do realise that if any SO of yours ever sees that comment, you've given them carte blanche to cheat on you if you ever get too drunk, right?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
While it seems that you have a binge-drinking problem and your bf cheats with your bff in yfb (your ******* bed), the most serious issue here is: Your grammar. "One TOO many", not "to." I'll bet your friend knows to-too-two, and that's why your boyfriend banged her.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for drinking too much. That's probably what caused them to hook up - they bonded over how they had to take care of you because you couldn't drink responsibly.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You do realise that if any SO of yours ever sees that comment, you've given them carte blanche to cheat on you if you ever get too drunk, right?
OllieKayy 5
Hope you dropped them both