Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
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Top comments
greeneyedpothead 10
Is it just me or does anyone else think kissing on the first date is a little too much too soon? That's just my opinion though.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Especially a blind date
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Comments (93)
TRUFREEDOM 1
Hahaha sorry man xD
Goldenchest 14
She was probably just not ready.. You don't have to kiss on a first date, let alone a blind date.
Futacy 30
Ooh, that's just painful. At least we know a solution, next time take her to a bar.
starman02 12
Sorry OP! She is not the gal for you! I hope your feelings weren't hurt to much.
TRUFREEDOM 1
Ok so nobody found that women's reply remotely humorous.
greeneyedpothead 10
Is it just me or does anyone else think kissing on the first date is a little too much too soon? That's just my opinion though.
sillysh 0
I totally agree, it's way too soon to kiss on the first date>.>
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Especially a blind date
TurtleSmile 14
Normally I agree. But in today's society three dates is enough for sex, so a goodnight kiss on the first date doesn't seem so extreme.
jailbird616 5
I very much disagree i tend to have sex on the first date
wildsweetchild 19
Totally agree with you #2 ...was going to say the same thing, but you already said it. Maybe I'm a little old school but that's moving things way to fast...OP, you just met a girl...give her some time to at least remember your name first..though she gave you a hint of what can get get to move things faster ;)
Shrike 24
30- Yeah, but herding the sheep back to their pen doesn't count as a date, and bothering them intimately doesn't count on the "who i dun banged" list.
wildsweetchild 19
get her* to move things faster....grrr...swype...
the_true_batman 10
I agree that a kiss on a first date is more than I'd go for, but I've had multiple girls attempt to have sex with me on the first date, so a goodbye kiss seems pretty innocent by comparison. I prefer a hug goodbye on the first date.
downtime 13
Is it just me or is there no one size fits all rule for dating...? Why do you all have your preconceived ideas of what people should and shouldn't do on dates?
ppl2ppl 4
Well I believe that's it's safe to assume you took a "safe sex" class in high school...
skata 4
30- I was reminded of the picture of the fat kid wearing the shirt that says I **** on the first date
laden_swallow09 35
No way. If the chemistry is strong and you're both definitely into each other, a kiss on the first date doesn't mean that you're easy. Slobbering over each other, maybe, but a kiss is nothing to be ashamed of.
Justy101 23
30 actually made me laugh.
feldire 14
I do agree #2, but It also depends on how long the date was. I tend to make my dates to for as long as possible if I like the girl and I can tell she likes me. After a 7 hour date, don't you think a kiss would be acceptable even if it's the first?
T1A2Z3 35
I guess it depends on how the date goes?
extreemguy19 7
(Kelso's voice) BURN!!!!!
MURIKKA 11
I apologize for my ignorance, but who the **** is Kelso?
Futacy 30
15- the dumb guy from That 70's Show.
Shrike 24
I have another question: what the ****'s up with FML commenters using other people's voices? Can't find your own? And what's up with these unoriginal memes?
Psych101 9
17- Thanks for letting everyone know. I don't watch That 70's Show, so I always imagined it as Bob Kelso from Scrubs. It never made much sense to me.
DocBastard 40
Shrike - I asked that same question a few days ago when someone did the "Cleveland voice" and I got reamed for it. I completely agree with you - why not use your own voice and say something original?
ManInTheMachine 20
Because meme's are 'popular' and people think that it's funny to repeatedly use them in different situations. Another one that is getting just as bad are the Big Bang Theory relations. "That's sounds like Sheldon!" "You must know Sheldon." "Would their name happen to be Sheldon?"
SirEskimo 13
The Big Bang Theory....*shudders*
pokefan813 16
Ah the big bang theory... A huge waste of time!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Because it wouldn't have been as funny if it wasn't related to Kelso's voice. And people might not have made the connection.
Trisha_aus 15
Just to avoid the confusion, try "Michael Kelso" it's like the Red Forman "dumbass" just popular.
2oc 5
You know what that means, more alcohol, less food next time.
TurtleSmile 14
Right. Because if you can't get her for a long time, at least have her for a good time.
upsidedownfools 5
Harsh.
Quinn32 16
Solution: Next time get her drunk...
SneakyCaveman 13
So, how drunk is drunk enough?
rhysfucker 24
Blind drunk ( ta-dum!)
FMLKitten 15
Tss!
AmericanJedhead 10
Sort of sounds like you weren't her type, but don't worry, you could do way better, I'm sure:)
rhysfucker 24
Slow down, young Jedi. A first date 'parting hug' is more appropriate. You can work on your tongue technique on date 3.
IOmnomHard 10
If you're going to make a star wars reference, it should make sense...Dis is nutsen!
SlayerElite 1
If someone gives you dating advice while making a starwars referance, you probably should not listen.
IOmnomHard 10
Star wars is amazing...Don't underestimate the power of the force!
IOmnomHard 10
Also, before criticizing anything, you should atleast spell correctly.*Reference
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Similarly, if a 15 year old gives you advice about giving advice - ignore it.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Maybe because "OMG, you love MLP!". Read OP's username. I'm not saying Bronies are losers, but I wonder if this has any correlation.
Shrike 24
A BRONIE? I don't see any gender on the FML. By the way, I don't want you taking this comment the wrong way, okay? I'm not saying you're a complete idiot, but I wonder if your age has any correlation to the ignorant stereotyping.
Psych101 9
16- You're comment may not have been implying that "Bronies" are losers, but it was certaintly suggesting that it could have caused the FML to occur. 23- I agree with most of your comment, but you shouldn't get mad at 16 for assuming OP was male. Statistically speaking, most of the population is straight. It is more likely that 16 is correct, and she was clearly not trying to say that being gay is bad or anything like that.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
43- Thank you. But sorry I didn't specify and say Brony or Pegasister. But I just had this picture in my head where OP was a hardcore Brony and she found that weird. 23- No, my age has nothing to do with most things I say. I hate when people play the age card when I say something they don't like. Also, I wasn't stereotyping. And if I thought all Bronies were losers, why would my best guy friend be one?
laden_swallow09 35
23- BTW, it's Brony and Bronies.
Shrike 24
65- See, being stereotyped doesn't feel so great, does it? You just validated my point. Thanks.