Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML
Today, while in a crowded store, someone tore my mask off my face and ran away. Then before I could run after them, I got stopped and screamed at for not wearing a mask. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
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Top comments
PlayTheGame24 5
Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
_GoodGuy 11
I heard a thief that stole a calendar got 12 months.
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Comments (103)
PlayTheGame24 5
Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
MrConcise 35
As a person who also dresses in all black and was defined as a "serial killer" by plenty of people, including my girlfriend, I've learned smiling at strangers in public goes a long way to fight stereotypes. Just be sure to avoid smiling at children -- protective parents are the worst.
MDTeddy 13
I like how Op didn't defend getting thrown out. Im sure they would have understood. They just assumed as well as the dumb shit who started this.
MattieJH 12
34: for the most part, I'd agree with you about the smiling. But what if you have a creepy smile? Like the kind that says, "I'm planning on chopping you up and stuffing your body bits under my floorboards." -slow creepy smile-
MrConcise 35
@59 If you have a smile like that, you might as well wear a smiley face t-shirt with the caption, "Don't check under the floorboards, officer!" I suggest avoiding all eye contact. Sunglasses preferred. If you must smile, toothless. Life lessons for the off-beat with Mr. Concise is now in session.
HKCgrimmjow 15
34- did you kill your girlfriend when she accused you of being a serial killer? And to be honest... I will admit I am a cereal killer
MrConcise 35
@ The 69 Serial Killer - Luckily she told me after we started dating and finished with "but I don't think that anymore." It's been hard to keep her away from the freezer, though...
MattieJH 12
66: do I have to have a shirt that is so blatant about it? Or could the smile and a shirt with a raven on it work just as well? Oh I suppose in the case of that story, a vulture. Though perhaps that reference would be too obscure.
clever_name_here 7
Exactly what i was thinking. But am i the only one who thought of that commercial with the guy in the ski mask, and the store guy thinks hes a criminal?
cbwjm 8
Sounds less murdery and more robbery.
_GoodGuy 11
I heard a thief that stole a calendar got 12 months.
loloalltheway 23
People can dress however they want, it's the grocery store!!!
yoimtrollin 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#2 that joke was terrible, please never say anything like that again. #5 what does that have to do with #2's bad joke?
OzzyTheGiant 14
@yoimtrollin your comment was stupid, please dont ever say anything like that ever again
lilhellian 27
#5 Some people should not have that privilege... Just go to Walmart for proof
CaptTeemo 10
Eh. Better than his first comment. Good try though.
loloalltheway 23
Yeah #2 changed his status, now my comment just look stupid. And #15, I will if I ever go to USA:)
_GoodGuy 11
I didn't change my status, only my comment. I never meant to make you look stupid, my original comment was foolish, so I tried editing beforehand.
yoimtrollin 24
People judge quite quickly.
thepunman 11
Especially judges.
philbelfrage 13
26 - I think a judge's job is to find out if someone is guilty of a crime or not, or to come to some type of conclusion in a civil case. If they did that by quickly judging people the court would only be in session for 30 seconds every case.
philbelfrage 13
65 - I'll thumb you up for that one. I worded it quite poorly, I apologize. I was trying to say judges don't judge quickly, because a judge who judged quickly wouldn't be a very good judge, as they might let that influence their final decision in the matter. I guess I was trying to point out judicial activism, and how most judges don't let such things influence their decision. It does happen, of course, but most judges don't succumb to it. Again, I worded it quite poorly. Never been very good with conveying what I mean with words. My apologies again. I understand why I've been down voted haha.
philbelfrage 13
Why? Don't like the exclusionary rule?
lolaroxie 12
Some people... I can see how it would be a gut reaction, but to get the guy thrown out?
golden_warrior 23
But, why is it a gut reaction? My gut reaction would be a robber at most due to movies and tv shows.
doodlecloud 27
I have to wear all black for work and often I identify other people on the way to the same job from their clothing so my gut reaction would probably be that OP was going to work lol. Definitely wouldn't ever think 'murderer'.
Olympiakos10 15
But he was wearing a black beanie, which a lot of stereotypical robbers (the ones with black and white striped shirts)
RedPillSucks 33
A beenie? I was thinking that the woman thought he was wearing a burka, until the beenie part.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
That's really messed up. Some people these days...
iAlissa 34
Well **** them for profiling via what you're wearing. And **** that crazy lady.
muffinkitty 15
Wow, you wanna **** everyone!
Ambient25 25
she sure gets around
laden_swallow09 35
I'm sure your lady bits will be screaming in protest in the morning.
iAlissa 34
Theoretically yes, muffinkitty!
DWT 18
Sometimes I wonder what people think of me when I wear all black. I guess I know now.
MoroseMoose 47
Normal, sane people think you're just another person in the store. Don't worry about it.
Zemmiphobia 11
Call a store manager or whoever is above the guy that threw you out.
DocBastard 40
You should know that all bad guys wear all black. The good guys wear white. Haven't you seen any westerns?
truesarrif 33
I always thought that too. however gi Joe blew that concept out of the water with snakeeyes in all black and storm shadow in all white. just when you think you have it all figured out.
SMHsohard 22
The White Sox did the same thing with their "Good Guys Wear Black" ads. Also, and this is really going to show my age, cowboy actor William Boyd (aka Hopalong Cassidy) always wore black clothes and hats. Anyway, I think it's amazing how people can be thrown out of a place simply because one nervous person makes a scene. I know we're supposed to be vigilant these days, in light of possible terrorist attacks, but folks really do need to get a grip.
SuperDanielNL 23
As if you couldn't murder someone whilst wearing yellow shorts, a pink shirt and a purple beanie. You'd even have the element of surprise.