Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shouted back in unison: "We're fucking! Go away!" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
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Top comments
Luxen 0
That happened to me last year with my neighbours, every morning and every night at the weekends. I was in the position of the seven year's boy... People should remember they are not alone in the building.
iFRUiTTART 0
LOL you having sex scares little kiddies . or maybe he's scared cuz he gets a boner c:
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Comments (234)
Harry_Poochi 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST!!!!!! And this is a bad FML. Not even a chuckle.
iBimmer 0
YDI for being an American-wannabe.
RedNeckAndProud 0
Wannabe american?? sorry there billy nobody in Canada wants to be an american. dipshit.
mercilessadi 0
Ydi y coz u r a bitch coz u have camel toe coz ur bf is ******** coz he has gf like u coz u blower him coz u like to be cozy coz u spill it here coz it gets published coz the mods who modd it suck like u(cmon y all dumb ***** get selected while they reject the good one) coz I feel u desereve it coz u wasted my time readin it coz u wasted my iPhone battery coz am out of coz..
rositaborracha18 0
Quebec ftw first time i see someone's life get ****** ( pardon the pun) over here
CaptainSarcasm 0
I'm an American who lives in Canada and wants to be Canadian. No one wants to be an American. Except for George Bush.
Fucks_To_Be_You 0
Um, that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Your comment perfectly forwards the stereotype that Rednecks are unintelligent. Just because a woman masturbates does not make them a wannabe American. When a woman believes that when "terrorists" attack a building, and that the official explanation of thatday, cannot be allowed by the current laws of physics; when a woman believes that, it makes them a wannabe American, because almost all Americans are idiots.
Einstein714 0
your a moron, the old USA is the best country in the world hands down
_Akward_ 0
Jesus, stop profiling. If there are 20 normal americans and one redneck, the one you'll remember is the redneck. Just cuz the attention grabbers are idiots, don't assume we all are, asshole.
cxal_fml 0
5 of my neighbors are Canadian who moved to the US because they felt their country was too f--ked up to ever be repaired
masterwitharake 0
you suck at spelling its cause not "coz" ******* retard
asnider 0
It's "it's" not "its," so you fail, too.
gummibehrs 4
I'm from the USA and am desperate to live anywhere but here. Oh and by the way, Canadians ARE Americans, dipshit. America is a CONTINENT, not a country. The country is called the UNITED STATES. Good lord.
ZleveL 0
there are many people who wish they were Americans. all of my candian friends wish they were American and lived in the US. I unfortunatly live in surrey, greater Vancouver, and it's a ****** dump. there's like mansions everywhere now, but there's garbage all over the place and there's drugs and gangs and shootings everywhere. I used to live in Seattle and tht was WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY nicer then thus shithole. Canada sucks =<
XYZzzzzzzz 0
America does NOT have more dumbfucks than the rest of the world. But our dumbfucks just, erm, make themselves more known.
bamskey 0
FU EVERY 1 WANTS 2 BE AN ANERICAN U BITCH ASS AMERICA IS THE BEST
asher888 11
you are not helping the cause like that. :/
lolboy300 0
I totally agree !!!
farhil 14
223, No, America is NOT a continent. NORTH America is, South America is, and Central America is. It's the United States of America, or internationally known as America or the Unites States. The US has its problems and its idiots, but not all of us are like that. All countries have those people, America just gets a bad rap about their idiots because they're a major (if not the top) world power.
finalyearsofhate 22
Actually, it's because... If you're going to correct someone, make sure you're right first.
nyrangersfan9 13
I'm an citizen of the United States I don't believe we're all idiots. However, many of the idiots are very vocal about their opinions (i.e., everyone above me saying "EVERY1 WANTS 2 B AMERICAN CUZ FREEDOM"). So instead of generalizing an entire country based off a few zealots, think twice and be considerate please :)
AlexZB 0
hahahaha, tell that bitch to move her sons room or get soundproof walls
hellocello600 0
Or move your bedroom to another room?
drano 0
if i were him i'd just drill a hole in the wall and jack off
starlalove 0
I think that may be classed as some sort of ****** up pedophilia, plus it's nasty.
thyaftermath 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If this bitch feels the urge to exaggerate orgasms by screaming like a faking pornstar *****. well then she better find another way to make up for her insecurities of her body , and her bfs. See, what happens is. When a chick feels her body is'nt hot enough she exaggerates and screams to arouse the guy. and maybe the guy is a loser in bed and she is trying to make him feel better.
thyaftermath 0
OH you know what the KID SHOULD DO?! It would be hilarious if whenever they have sex, the should play some religious preeching on youtube about how sex is bad. turn up the volume so ******* loud. That would freak them out so much, lets see them contiunue with sex. Or just play his music so loud so that THEY CAN't SLEEP.
spoo 24
I'm sorry ma'am. If I dont make so much noise, the slopping sound of him masturbating ruins the mood.
Maniacfive 0
Agreed! Its her problem not yours, unless your screams are loud enough to be over the noise nuiscance laws, I dunno about Quebec, but in London, come 11pm you haveta keep it down. And i dont think your screams are gonna be over the limit when the man from the council comes out with the decibel meter. (He may however make several trips with recording equipment i guess ;) Tell her to be a proper parent and reassure her child. No need for her to go into details of why its nothing to worry about, just that its okay. Sounds to me like this woman's problem is that this particular situation isn't covered by whatever TV show she parks her children in front of to educate them, so she's at a loss.
iFRUiTTART 0
LOL you having sex scares little kiddies . or maybe he's scared cuz he gets a boner c:
keoct 4
HAHA classic Simpson moment with Homer and Marge keeping the Flanders awake all night.
LewJH 0
Fail...
PurpleHaze23 0
Nope. Win.
emorockerownage 9
i sense large amounts of fail captian
farhil 14
Your bed doesn't have a sheet on it. And your walls are purple. Fail.
Luxen 0
That happened to me last year with my neighbours, every morning and every night at the weekends. I was in the position of the seven year's boy... People should remember they are not alone in the building.
faildood 0
tell her no you cant..easy
jackalope104 0
Simply awesome
a_cad_1 0
Can't she get earplugs for the kid?
muffinsareyummy 1
she's just jealous that you're getting some and she's not.
Mulada 0
Obviously since she has a kid, she's not a virgin >_> But right, it's must be cause she's jealous. I don't wanna hear people have sex because I'm jealous!
muffinsareyummy 1
just because she isn't a virgin it doesn't mean that she hasn't been getting laid recently.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Definitely my first thought. Not to mention being a nosy bitch to boot.
fmlextreme1 0
talk about a ****-blocker!