Shelly
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
vishuzzbabe77
United States
Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML
PieterseMJ
Sandton, South Africa
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
confusedcatlover
London, United Kingdom
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Boo!
Montréal, Canada
Haunted dog
Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML
doggylove
Winnipeg, Canada
Good boy
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
a-non
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Bad boy
Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML
Noname
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
hopeless romantic
Dayton, United States
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
nofunforme
Candler, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Freakout
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Top comments
mattman1994 0
Wow, did you dress like a hooker or did you wear Lady Gagas meat dress?
perdix 31
That's what you get for dressing like a bitch! Are you sure that's your costume or your everyday apparel?
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Comments (117)
shove117 0
at least somebody did... or should I say something?....
seanders 10
Yeah, hope you like doggie style OP
thatguy888 0
seanders... WINS
TehPiGuy 0
12- you just won. you won everything!
yuggi1 11
OP has one possible choice now, **********.
Iskaria 0
Actually 44 Halloween is like a combo holiday of the Celtic harvest festival Samhain which marks the end of summer and the beginning of the dark half of the year and the Christian holiday of All Saints' Day where they celebrate those who made it into heaven. So realistically it's as much about ****** as it is ghost stories :)
angrynegro7 16
Hey! It's inter-species erotica, fucko!
MzKitty83 0
it's actually all hallows eve and in christian history it was the night lucifer was allowed to walk the earth and collect souls. ( yes grammar is bad I'm on my iPod and it isn't auto correcting)
Draminicaus 0
Wow, seriously? I had never heard that part of the story. that's actually really interesting. lol
Iskaria 0
74 all hallows eve is the night before all saints day in Christian beliefs and is signified with fasting before the next days feasting (which is why we now let our kids get sugar coma'd out :p) it's a preparation for celebrating martyrs saints and the 'hallowed' people meaning holy etc. I have studied this topic thoroughly and never heard any factual information on this from any decent sources, nor from any research (including Christian resources) but a friend told me his crazy church elder had told him that story. So I would be willing to bet your 'lucifer' source lied to you :/ it'd be a way cooler story though. lol
zakkyzebra 11
I came here to laugh. not learn >:/
missawesome16 0
finally some one who gets it i mean it's about scary the shit out of kids not trying to seduce them ******
shove117 0
at least somebody did... or should I say something?....
janelly16 7
I think this should tell you something
cool_guy1234 0
number 3 u r fine looking lol
coNsperAZI 4
you are sexy as hell
Sirin_fml 47
Heads-up to all you Casanovas out there: FML isn't a dating site; we don't encourage flirting, we don't like creeper comments, we don't hand out free condoms and we don't give you sex ed classes. What we DO do is encourage you to take your beautiful love to private messaging instead! Now go forth and please refrain from multiplying.
KingDingALing 9
Hey Sirin...you know, I'm single and I was just wondering if you want to---comment moderated. Just kidding. :p
Sirin_fml 47
[nevermind!]
StitchedBear 0
haha sirlin is funnyy (:
KingDingALing 9
Or was I? Heheh...
cool_guy1234 0
nice body Janel : )
roadkill223 0
3, I need to tell you something also, you're 16. you shouldn't dress like a *****. Cover up.
cool_guy1234 0
lol my comment keeps gettin moderated well Janel nice body once again lol
roadkill223 0
Figures, a power-hungry mod "fixed" my comment...
lilldude7 0
then it's obviously not sexy don't flatter urself
TwoFootedMan 0
Comment moderated? haha
Draminicaus 0
Damn. That's the largest amount of moderated comments I had ever seen. lol
xMegan 0
put some clothes on.
RVD705 0
Cute!
cool_guy1234 0
Janel those are some nice boobies u got there : ) comment moderated.... once again
Filitov 0
Really? Not even the token perverted old guy down the road? For shame!
swalch43 0
fugly *****, stop sharing your terrible life with us we wanna hear funny fmls not depressing ones about stupid fat chicks who try to look like *****
pedosmurf 7
Beastilality is looking good?
karinabeby 0
one is better then nothing.
ilovemydoodle123 0
way to be positive!
mattman1994 0
Wow, did you dress like a hooker or did you wear Lady Gagas meat dress?
sourgirl101 29
I just watched that "Lady Pasta" video on YouTube and thought it was cute.
David Horgan 8
Gaga's
biskitbukit 7
Sucks, you didn't get out enough then.
6sick6 4
*******!!
yuggi1 11
Nah, they are fake-ies!
tannarox 0
did you put cantaloupes in your bra? because there is not a snowball's chance in hell that those are real.
jcortez1594 0
Wtf is wrong with your chest.....
Diabla_ 2
^^^^ WTF indeed =/
Siji 0
The Mods are cleaning house tonight XD
perdix 31
That's what you get for dressing like a bitch! Are you sure that's your costume or your everyday apparel?
Lexi_Luvz_Ya 0
I see what you did there... :)
hotdogcore 9
Just because the costume is sexy doesn't mean it will look sexy on you.
perdix 31
YDI for looking for the red rocket.