Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
You deserve it for thinking you're a ninja!
HeroOfWar 0
Ydi, the kid was right.
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Comments (202)
marinus_fml 20
You deserve it for thinking you're a ninja!
smiley1014 23
this sounds made up.
GavinRoskamp 0
You sound made up. Just saying.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
the kids right you are an imposter! once i was raped by a ninja but i didnt notice
pwincessa23 1
25, idk why u think rape is funny or something that u can just say to be cool. As a rape victim I'm very offended by your comment. However, I will not take it personal because I'm sure that when you wrote that u didn't think that it could possibly hurt/offend anyone since people here just say random stuff trying to be funny. it's as if they had "typing diareah". I'm sure the grammar Nazis will find errors in this but I honestly don't care so save ur comments. thank you.
WtFmL3 0
Agreed
madarchod 0
The little boy ftw
qsdmlkj 0
YDI for wearing a 'funny'shirt loser
Selena_is_back 7
You didn't see that coming did you???? :D
marinus_fml 20
Selena, I believe he did see it coming, but decided to jut stand there and take the hit anyway...
ShadyFTW1 0
OP is a chick marinus. Guarentee if the apple was a dick she would have caught it in her mouth.
rallets 23
the little kid has a point tho a ninja wouldve chopped it into several pieces before it hit the ground
nategisawesome 0
Massive win for the kid!
derisimo 0
looks like someone should have worn their "It's true, I'm a loser" shirt today........
cassiesaurus 0
haha ydi for thinking those shirts are actually cool.
hannah1203 2
67, win!
Firestar1202 0
i love you 67
lollipopXx 0
agreed :)
Shaebug12 0
that's an MLIA story dumbasses
nikki9910 0
hahaha
Allison8Llamas 0
Losers don't wear funny t-shirts! Therefore, you shouldn't be so rude. That's just plain rude. I am not a loser and I wear hilarious shirts.
Manganimegrl 16
I... probably would've caught that. I'm not kidding, all my friends say I have ninja reflexes.
HeroOfWar 0
Ydi, the kid was right.
evybeth 0
yup! the kid has a point.. false advertisement right there buddy.. haha
ShadyFTW1 0
Ha, I want to meet that kid.
xXSweetNightmare 0
This'll definitely make me think twice before ever wearing my "I've got mad ninja skills" t-shirt in public.
EightInchNails 9
Shuriken his ass!
Kush1994 0
I remember reading those comics
ladyloo808 0
Byakugan would have seen that in an instant!
Hidan_fml 0
Do some mental damage with Mangekyo Sharingan.
GodinezXC 0
A true ninja wouldn't be shopping.
seanders 10
A true ninja is never caught for that 5 finger discount!
Lucidium 0
A true ninja wouldn't have been seen by the kid...
taycandy96 2
A true ninja wouldn't have "It's True, I'm a ninja" in their shirts.
XelaKJK 0
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
HamsteronA 0
A true ninja wouldn't be on FML
HamsteronA 0
Also, a true ninja would have given his shirt to that boy
chunkymunky666 0
a true ninja would lend me ten bucks so I can buy that shirt :P
banananut 0
Look at you, ruining little kids' hopes and dreams of ninjas. You might as well become a terrorist dressed as the easter bunny.
Rokpics13 0
lolwtf?
awkward_turtles 1
lol
mitchn60 6
A true Ninja is one with their surroundings, they don't advertise. I learned that when I used to be a Ninja...
Arsonnist 3
A true ninja would have beat that kid down for humiliating him/her.
desigirl2010 0
a true ninja doesnt call themselves a true ninja.
btnhdude 0
a true ninja constantly pisses off Ignorance, which is many ppl, (one of them being me) so nevermind that is not true cuz many ppl piss her off and all of them not being ninjas.
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^ That was the worst display of wit. Your fingers should be removed and given to a handless, witty person.
chloec16 0
43 stole the words out of my mouth haha
newmandotcom 6
I used to be a ninja. But then I took an arrow to the knee
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for falsely advertising.
PizzaGuy11 0
OHHHH BITCH GOTCHA NOW??!!!!!
iampunk 0
^ Justin Beiber's ******* crazy.
PizzaGuy11 0
sigh ive been called that from my family. i think its a problem o.O and i invented the little flippy thing. not him. ffs.
dudeitsdanny 10
I invented it when I was in 8th grade =O Back when you and Bieber were getting ducky haircuts from your moms =O Too bad Ellen Degeneres stole it ;P
famesetmatch1234 0
What does YDI mean?
robertlovespi 3
193 YDI for not knowing.
DrAwesome 6
Now, maybe I don't know anything about being a ninja, being from Idaho, Nebraska City, Pennsyljersey and all, but walking around with a shirt telling people you're a ninja, then failing to exert simple ninja-like reflexes is not only lying, but stupid. The way I see it, that boy is more ninja than you'll ever be. Be thankful it was just an apple or you wouldn't have lived to post this FML.
sinnikle 5
a true ninja would have peeled the apple with his iris
PizzaGuy11 0
and then had his second pet arthur, the unicorn/penguin/cat, otherwise know as the unipecat uni•pe•cat. eat the apple throw it up and have chuck norris rise from the puke, while playing classical music on his acoustic guitar with his less known second cousin fabio while laying upon the floor infront of them is the old spice guy upon the unipecat, arthur. when sudden hurculies falls down from the sky with his best friend harry potter while levatating over 500 tons of exploding dynamite with a sleeping newborn baby.
katgurl 13
Wow. That'd be a million times more... awesome ? interesting ? if that was all typed up on the spot with no thinking whatsoever.
musicnote9 0
Rolf 19
klutzycleo 5
Bahaha @ #19... WIN
iamthespider 0
don't encourage his stupidity.... that comment wasn't even funny at all, especially the part about chuck Norris
rnett08 5
#19 fail dude! #11 win! I for one bein a ninja know about peeling apples with my iris
PizzaGuy11 0
45-it was actually typed on the spot :D
roxycat97 0
number 19 is my new hero =)
kamm94 0
I agree
awkward_turtles 1
umm...what?
Sadochan 0
YDI forthink you can be a ninja. Only males can. It's part of the Ninja code. But they make exceptions.
PizzaGuy11 0
dude i heard about that master suzuki just emailed me what they must do. walk on 5 miles of glass that is on fire. but thats too easy right?
Sadochan 0
Way too easy. Infact, that is a fake. Must've been sent by juniors to get kicked out. The Master would find that task offensive. Don't do it. It's not worth it. Plus you can tell if it's by Master himself.
dudeitsdanny 10
I may be wrong, but you can't set glass on fire.. Your master is a fraud!
laden_swallow09 35
You chauvinist dick. You've never heard of kunoichi??