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OP here. Thank you all for the hillarious comments. I had seen him without a beard before of course, but he has recently lost some weight and turns out it changed his features a bit.

Thanks, hun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, one of my 6 year-old students, who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me, "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said, "Your arms are hairy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 4 462

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 358

You deserved it 4 043

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:58 - United States

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 722

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 15:55 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 239

You deserved it 6 037

Mrs Motivator

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as, "You don't want to turn out like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 871

You deserved it 5 736

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 05:07 - United States

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 703

You deserved it 7 367

By IBS - 06/05/2014 09:11 - China - Shanghai

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 218

You deserved it 13 197

Curlywurly

By Rai - 24/03/2009 16:11 - Canada

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have at least combed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 939

You deserved it 6 011

STRANGER DANGER

By justgreat - 28/09/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 120

You deserved it 3 420

By Anonymous - 23/05/2011 18:12 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 327

You deserved it 2 745

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 625

You deserved it 35 220

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 21:07 - Belgium

Today, my mother used climate change as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 236

You deserved it 2 757

By whyme - 07/02/2012 06:38 - United States

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 770

You deserved it 2 123

By why - 16/03/2015 01:10 - United States - Tucson

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 101

You deserved it 3 375

By moneymoneymoney - 08/10/2013 14:34 - United States - Tampa

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 302

You deserved it 7 096

By Robert - 13/09/2013 01:11 - United States - Drummond Island

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 088

You deserved it 52 760

By byepolar_bare - 19/12/2010 11:29 - United States

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 661

You deserved it 3 347

By Anonymous - 12/08/2013 23:58 - United States

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 270

You deserved it 5 229

Wrong way round

By Turnaround - 07/11/2014 12:28

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 470

You deserved it 18 826

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 07:04 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 559

You deserved it 25 282

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 3 250

By Tampax - 30/09/2014 18:46 - Spain - Cuenca

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 321

You deserved it 3 206

Test subject

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 21:05 - Canada

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half-dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness affects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 458

You deserved it 3 711

By foreversingle - 30/06/2013 18:09 - Netherlands - Helmond

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 490

You deserved it 3 994

Long road ahead

By coloradoman - 30/11/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, while I was flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a newborn puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice into my lap, then coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 603

You deserved it 3 123

By crazymentalblond - 17/11/2016 11:47 - United States - Havertown

Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 974

crazymentalblond tells us more.

crazymentalblond 25

Friday 18 November 2016 3:21

OP here, when the second classmate made his announcement, everyone went silent (I swear crickets were chirping). He went into a ramble that sounded oddly like "the statue we got it in 1962." It took us all a few minutes to stifle our laughter to correct him. After that, yes someone did inform the first guy he was indeed wrong and told him several reasons why. At least it was a good way to kick off a what was slowly becoming a boring day. And yes I focused on the second guy a little bit more because I myself suck at history so I couldn't judge the first classmate too much. Especially when my previous schools skimmed over a lot of American history. If it wasn't for the books my mom showed me that she had on American history I wouldn't know much other than the basics. The education system I'm in really sucks.