Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
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Top comments
RhiannonD 0
Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?
LilKonvicted 0
Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word
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Comments (85)
OuttaMind 0
First. :P And damn, that sucks!
picabo889 11
so yur at the beach...cant u just wash it off right when u noticed?
afrojojo24 0
HAHAHA!
fleg 9
hahahahahahahaha
danza_fml 0
This just made my day :)
venom7 0
haha.. don't you know how sunscreen looks or sooo obviously smells like!? Congratulations girl u deserve it :p plus if you think ur bf will just leave the sunscreen there as a spot on you, I suggest u bring him this famous book linkbee.com/OMV1 LOOOOOOOOL!!!
LilKonvicted 0
Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word
_Damien_ 0
LOL
i_wuz_nver_here 31
win
thunderbrave 0
A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
franniedottp 8
bbbbbb bird bird bird b-b-birds the word!
uhazsquiads 0
I say the b b b bird the bird is the word
yojoeletsmakeout 0
The bird was kinder than your boyfriend. It took the time to protect you from the sun, with it's own shit.
TempestJones 0
ROFLMFAO!!!! That was exactly what went through my head!!! Hahahaha... OP, YDI for being a fucktard.
wolfeyes00 10
erm, in wgat way was it her fault? yeah she didnt notice befire she rubber, but getting shat on doesnt make her a fucktard...
cwdeus 0
Probably YDI for thinking your boyfriend is sweet. LOL. Just kiddin'.
RhiannonD 0
Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?
TheSlimer 4
Idk