Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML
Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
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Top comments
iseyixes 18
What a good age to experiment! The good ole days!!!!
The1CalledGOAT 11
so, you are upset that you missed all the greasing up action?
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Comments (85)
iseyixes 18
What a good age to experiment! The good ole days!!!!
boxbrandon11 20
I wish i thought of doing that when i was younger
HKCgrimmjow 15
That's a brilliant idea, best I came up with is wrap myself in a blanket and throw myself down the stairs :) still fun to do
Codezlol 21
24- ... Nevermind.
ArielTheMermaid 17
That sounds like fun! Better than mattress surfing, considering I always fell
VonGore 6
Seems legit!
The1CalledGOAT 11
so, you are upset that you missed all the greasing up action?
bigtaytay 13
I'd be happy to see that
sens3sfailing 25
At least she didn't let him loose in the house and try and chase him down and hogtie him...
Voldy_fml 16
Sounds fun to me.
Gordon12345 7
Well at least they're having fun?
Lant 6
Ghetto slip and slide style
PussyPredator 6
Oh god, it's Sylar.
Voldy_fml 16
It's probably the "Cleaning up" part that he's mad about.
ManInTheMachine 20
Honestly, OP, it wood do you some good to have a sense of humor. Your sister was just having a good time, there's no need to bark about it. If you could cedar look on her face, your deep-rooted anger would be otherwise. Make the best out of a bad situation, and don't be a weeping-pussy about it. Branch out and be a fun older sibling.
VonGore 6
Perhaps it's because the OP just had a hard day at work and probably was looking forward to coming home to relax, not to be cleaning butter and olive oil off the floor.
ManInTheMachine 20
Did you only read the first part of my comment, or did all of the puns really just fly over your head?
gc327072 31
12- it wood seem they did. Don't worry, you did a pine job with those puns.
Axipiter 24
I'll help you out. At least I'm good fir that.
alexhaz64 4
Seems I'm already tree comments late. I should just leaf. My performance would probably be wooden, anyway.
emeraldisle 30
Whatever happened to just wearing socks to slide across the floor?
cupkate18 6
They are to kool for tht
Warden1986 16
Because that's old school and although fun, you gotta try new things.
connorhperkins 9
Splinters
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
OMG! I would totally do that. Too bad I have Black Ops 2 and everything else in life doesnt matter
ebull30 3
Awesome cod2.rocks if I didn't have to walk my dogs I wouldn't know this post existed either