Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML
Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
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Top comments
jDCrackpot 7
Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.
alstbv12 13
Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.
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Comments (85)
jasminea 0
I would only see a problem if you were high. But since you're not...enjoy your pee!
GhettoMaverick 0
I think he just wanted to see you pee if he had you do it in front of him. What a perv ?(¬_ ¬")
kiara20 8
It clearly said "in front of a stranger" so I highly doubt it was I front of his boss :-/
choshaki 8
I don't get why he had to pee in front of the "stranger" I have had a couple drug tests and they give you the cup and you pee in the bathroom.
Sumo69 9
Well now I'm just pissed I thought it was normal for them to watch you pee the dude that comes to the shop to do the drug testing always watches me like a Hawk.
Enslaved 38
My girlfriend works at a power plant and they do random drug testing there. She has to pee in a cup with someone standing right there listening to her at the bathroom stall. It's embarrassing for her. :P
evilscorpi 29
i guess thats the old way now because when i went to do mine, you go alone but your not allowed to flush the toilet or you have to start over again. and all of your belongings stay outside with the instructor.
bmwguy01 8
when i mine did they did the follicle testing, I've never had to pee in a cup
SammyS2012 21
When I was being trained as a medical assistant a couple months ago, we learned that the person peeing and you have to be in the same room. You don't necessarily have to stare at them, but definitely the same room. And yes, you can't have belongings or flush the toilet or wash your hands until the person has the specimen.
JackIsHere 4
Nice, use some eye drops next time.
choshaki 8
Eye drops are not always the solution. Some people have really bad allergies.
Meme1988 18
There are doctors for allergies.. I go see one each spring... Trust me! The medecine helps alot!
Babushka_Homyak 10
Not everyone is able to go see a doctor whenever they please.
Pentium_4 27
i feel bad for you, but knowing how stoners *can* be, he has a decent reason....
TimeDisposalEngi 14
You mean to say you were in the washroom... by yourself... right??
alstbv12 13
Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.
cosmosis 12
Mother fucken goddamn auto correct reworded the whole fml!! I honestly wonder when somw people will start to comprehend what they read...
jDCrackpot 7
Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.
ProjeKtSC2 8
He could easily sue his employer for making do that. Totally goes against his rights without ample evidence..
shadexilmaendu 4
Yupp, totally illegal. Law enforcement can watch you piss for a drug test in extreme cases. Employers do not have the right to make their employees strip in any way, shape or form. You could sue them if you really felt like it.
Calyx_fml 22
Better to have a job that doesn't drug test. I've turned down job offers because of that. And I only smoke once or twice a month. It's the principle of it. Evaluate me on performance not biochemistry.
stopwhining 1
The employer didn't force the employee to disrobe, as the employee always maintained the right to refuse the drug test, although it would likely cost him his job. Furthermore, whether or not an employer can legally have a third party monitoring the specimen collection varies by job type as well as jurisdiction, and we know neither of these things here. But hey, OP, if you feel like you had your rights violated, go see a lawyer, who would actually know the law where you live.
shadexilmaendu 4
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/drug-tests-job-applicants-if-33051.html
abbybailey204 19
I've had to do that plenty of times. I feel your pain op
cosmosis 12
What a badass mofo!!! You are 15 years old. Not something you wanna be bragging about mate!
zombicidal 11
yes but I have sympathy for OP because while I've never had to take a test people always think I'm high because I don't sleep well so eyes are bloodshot. it gets annoying
xStaciexLynnx 15
27- A lot of high schools do random drug testing now. I got 4 drug tests in one year because I was in extra curricular activities. They even make people do them at prom. Sooo I don't think he's trying to be a 'badass mofo'. He was just telling The truth.
MargieDrury 1
It's better than losing a job.
Valdrek 26
Damn straight
RodderstheLegend 5
Plant some crack in his desk. Fight the power.
paschale 7
This comment wins!
Rocky007 15
Reference noted.
firefighterjohn 9
if you haven't done anything you shouldnt have anything to worry about...
DjeePee 25
I hate that mentality. It's not because he doesn't have to worry that he should take this for granted.
Sumo69 9
Yeah that's what I tell my boss I got allergies 365 days a year. I really really do
Sumo69 9
It's called synthetic urine
immaMonsta 8
#16 It must be miserable being you.
Sumo69 9
Well if I keep treating my body like an amusement park it's sure going to be rough in a couple years
Meowingtons500 18
365 days a year? Really? I was wondering if maybe it was 420 days a year.. :P