The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

I belong in the city!!!! · 26 February 2024, 20:00 ·United States

In the sticks

Today, it's been a week since my family moved from a city to a house we inherited out in the middle of nowhere. It's horrible! There's wild animals everywhere, my dad says I have to help take care of the house now, it's a thirty minute ride to school, there's no sidewalks, and I hate it here! I want to go back! FML

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 639

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Anonymous · 5 August 2021, 14:01

It's not what you think!

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 16 April 2020, 17:00

Nutters Inc.

Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125 You deserved it 186

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oof! · 9 August 2021, 17:59

Mystery

Today, after taking him to two different neurological specialists, a pediatric ophthalmologist, an inner ear specialist, and a therapist, I’ve spent thousands of dollars just to come to the conclusion that my son is just hopelessly clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951 You deserved it 157

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wtf babe?! · 10 August 2021, 22:01

Run away, fast

Today, even though we were together every day of quarantine, now that I’m working my boyfriend has become a completely different person. He’s now jealous, insecure and makes wild accusations. He’s called and showed up to my new job so many times the managers are threatening to let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · 9 November 2022, 16:00 ·Berthoud, United States

Alexa, play "Trust" by Low

Today, I figured out that I've maybe never 100 percent completely trusted anybody, and that it's been sabotaging all my relationships. Several weeks back, my dad said something along the line that I've never trusted them. I'm 27 and my life's a mess maybe because I can't make people feel like I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591 You deserved it 263

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Anonymous · 24 March 2024, 20:00 ·Lidingoe, Sweden 🌶️ Spicy

Fairy tale

Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653 You deserved it 371

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Anonymous · 10 November 2022, 18:00

Kids these days…

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 319

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Anonymous · 24 March 2024, 12:00 ·Corozal, Colombia

Bullshit jobs

Today, and ever since someone hired our new manager, she began threatening us, saying she was going to fire us because we "never work." In the meantime, she delegates her tasks, and is never available online. So, finally, our director thought she deserved a salary increase for… not actually doing her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 28 March 2024, 22:00 ·Joinville, Brazil

Open Minded

Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 You deserved it 845

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Anonymous · 29 August 2021, 02:01

Distressed

Today, my colleague pointed out with a disgusted look on his face that I'm wearing 90s clothes again. Just like every time he sees me. What does he mean by 90s clothes? Jeans. Literally any pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 5 December 2022, 02:00

Wingman

Today, I finally got to spend a good amount of time with this girl I had been trying to get with for weeks, only to realize I wasn't that into her. I asked my friend for help and he proceeded to literally drag me away from her, while I pretended to try and stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164 You deserved it 1 231

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juggalo2 · 17 April 2024, 09:00 ·Troy, United States

Dude, gross!

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 299 You deserved it 505

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Anonymous · 23 April 2024, 22:00 ·Auburn, United States

Squatters' rights

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580 You deserved it 179

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Anonymous · 15 June 2020, 20:08

Really close

Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571 You deserved it 339

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fuckface moron · 20 June 2020, 02:17

Face value

Today, it was was my first day back at work as an esthetician. My first client refused to remove her face mask so I could perform the service. She demanded I just do her forehead, and that she’d only pay a third of the price since she’s only getting that part done. I refused and was written up by management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674 You deserved it 291

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Anonymous · 12 December 2022, 18:00

Denial

Today, out of sheer stubbornness, my husband forced himself to go to the toilet despite severe constipation. He forced it so hard he now has a migraine and his nose won’t stop bleeding, but he won’t go see a doctor. He could have burst an artery in his brain but no, he knows better than "some doctor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 7 October 2021, 02:00

Same old story

Today, after 8 years and a house bought together, I realised I regret getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 539

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Anonymous · 12 May 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Single and ready to mingle

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503 You deserved it 198

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Hurt · 30 December 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

You must be kidding

Today, my husband of 6 years told me he has a 5 year-old. In fact, she was conceived the night before our wedding. Apparently, the “one last time fuck as a single man” with his female bestie was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He doesn’t get why I’m not speaking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 323 You deserved it 245

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nja · 12 July 2020, 23:01

Socializing

Today, it's the first day in 14 weeks I've got dressed up and gone out anywhere other than to go food shopping. Shame it’s to attend a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610 You deserved it 264

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Yaneris · 3 January 2023, 18:00

Downsizing

Today, I was told that due to budget cuts, my employment will be terminated. I maxed out all my credit cards shopping and traveling for Christmas. I threw away the receipt for most of the items I’d bought. $7,200 in debt and unemployed, what a great way to start the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 1 999

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Anonymous · 14 January 2023, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy

Today, I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Too bad it put me in the hospital with a slipped disc and a concussion, and yet I just know me and the violent lady in question will probably do it all again at our next date. Good thing my health insurance is paid up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 1 264

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Anonymous · 23 October 2021, 14:00 ·Enderby, Canada

Copycat

Today, my father-in-law announced the name of his new son, my husband's half-brother. The first name and last name is the same as our son, who I gave birth to 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 28 January 2020, 14:00 ·Oakland, United States

On time

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652 You deserved it 1 084

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Anonymous · 29 January 2023, 19:00 ·Seattle, United States

Scapegoat

Today, I was told I was being fired from my job after "5 months for poor performance." I helped lead my team to the highest possible success they’ve had the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 12 September 2020, 08:02 🌶️ Spicy

That's that, then

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 700 You deserved it 224

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Val · 9 July 2024, 09:00 ·United States

The miracle of childbirth

Today, I realized my marriage is over. I was in labor with our first child and my husband acted like being there with me in the hospital was a chore. However, he saw a young nurse and his mood did a 180. He left soon before I gave birth because he “got hungry.” All of this and he STILL has no clue why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 9 September 2020, 17:01 ·Rockaway Park, United States

Credibility loss

Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637 You deserved it 303

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Anonymous · 19 September 2020, 17:02 ·Aachen, Germany

This woman's work

Today, I looked at pictures of myself from 20 years ago when I was a teenager and realized I have only about a quarter of my hair left. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235 You deserved it 106

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