Today, my grandma told me that if she was a braver person, she would've actually have split up with grandad on their second date, but she was afraid of being alone so she married him instead and had a bunch of kids she never actually wanted. Wow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML
Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
That seems to be a running theme with a lot of boomers.
GoogieWithers 25
Sadly, it was thought wrong to be single after a certain age.
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Comments (3)
Charlie Given 28
That seems to be a running theme with a lot of boomers.
GoogieWithers 25
Sadly, it was thought wrong to be single after a certain age.
Chazzster 32
My Dad’s 3rd wife told me that she never wanted children, but seemingly had no other options at the time and she had several… There’s no WayBack machine. Nothing can be done about the past. But you can keep from making the same old mistakes if you are careful…. I came from a family with 4 kids. My parents loved their children and family. I have 2, one natural and one adopted. Children can make a difficult marriage worse. But they can also be a blessing. No child deserves to be unwanted.