The Top

To all who don’t understand, I literally went to the wrong art festival. I was given the wrong address and then realized when I got home that it was not the right festival just a similar name.

Her body, her choice

By Not a grandma - 15/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 816

Playa

By Loner - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Paramus

Today, my buddy congratulated me on getting a girl's phone number written on my arm. I was too embarrassed to tell him it was the number I needed to find my furniture at IKEA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 407

You deserved it 628

Classic prank

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 00:00

Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 1 624

Chill out

By Utterly fucked - 17/04/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 029

Corkscrew

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 00:01 - United States - Carson City

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. I couldn't get it out, after what seemed like ages of trying. I had to ask my boyfriend to help me. He'll never look at me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 218

Check your socials

By Quitting Social Media - 25/10/2023 16:00

Today, my admissions to my dream university was rescinded and no longer being considered for a $45,000 scholarship. Apparently, the content of my TikTok account does not align with the University’s values. I forgot I have a few videos of me twerking and lip syncing a few profanity-laced songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 1 530

Happy Easter!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 352

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 316

Let me sleep

By jadei - 06/11/2023 09:00

Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 149

This is Kerpal

By mickymoose1 - 17/05/2021 01:59

Today, a couple at the dog park, who seemed afraid of large dogs, tried to kick my dog for trying to say hi to them. They then called the police on me for lunging and yelling at the guy for trying to kick my dog. It's an off-leash dog park people, don't go there if you're afraid of dogs! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 179

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The Top

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 418

You deserved it 3 978

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 312

You deserved it 7 307

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 177

Today, I forgot to clean up poop before a home inspection, so the inspector questioned me on why I had dried shit sitting on a table, with flies all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 2 090

Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 133

Today, I found out my parents' entire marriage was a convoluted scheme to get them both permanently unfit to stand trial. I am genuinely scared to find out what they have planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 87