Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML
Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and it went great. I later found out that he came inside another girl, stole her sweatshirt, then left. After that, he proceeded to bang another girl. Both of these girls are in my friend group, and I still went on a date with him after. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I slept with on our first date and bailed on me the next day is dating a friend of mine. In fact, they’re still together after sleeping together on the first date. Nice to know my vagina couldn’t make him stay with me. FML
Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML
Today, after going down on me and dry humping me in bed, my boyfriend told me he was having second thoughts about me while I was away for a few days. Apparently, he spent time with my best friend who set us up. She asked him to hypothetically propose to her. FML
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Top comments
Lamitucus 4
I really have to ask what “advanced sex” is? Ask your “friends” this also and they are clearly not your friends.
core01 30
They just want to gossip. Give them a bigger piece of gossip. Admit you tried "advanced sex" with annoying guy, but he had a mini penis that was smaller than a pea. THAT'S why you tried having sex with the roommate, but he was a limp dicked dud, so you went home frustrated.
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Comments (6)
Lamitucus 4
I really have to ask what “advanced sex” is? Ask your “friends” this also and they are clearly not your friends.
jobekka 20
prove that you weren't and find new friends
core01 30
They just want to gossip. Give them a bigger piece of gossip. Admit you tried "advanced sex" with annoying guy, but he had a mini penis that was smaller than a pea. THAT'S why you tried having sex with the roommate, but he was a limp dicked dud, so you went home frustrated.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Point out that the advanced sex he talked about was that he liked getting pegged while wearing a nappy. Basically just make up shit until he takes back the entire story.
JaneSimple 28
Tell everyone he has a micropenis. The only way to defend himself is to say it never happened. Works like a charm.
dasin 18
unless they whip their dick out and shows it isnt then she just looks like a liar....
stickyface 17
Should have kept to basic sex then.
Gubbon 17
If all your friends believe that, it might say something about you?