Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML
Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML
Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was going on, so I had two choices: say that I was sick or tell the truth. It’s been an hour since my mom started trying to give me a suppository to cure my “indigestion”. FML
Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML
Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
Today, it's been months since I graduated university. I still haven't managed to land a single interview. Meanwhile my brother recently woke up from a week long bender, realized he had no money for weed, went out, and 4 days later landed a well paid sales job 15 minutes from home. FML
Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML
Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML
Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML
Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML
Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML
Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML
Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me we were going on a trip to Venice. Seeing my reaction, he immediately added : “But don’t get excited, you're not getting a ring." FML
Today, I was wondering why my cheap and overall great apartment had been available for so long. After some research, it's now pretty clear: my landlord is, apparently, a well-known slumlord. FML
LifeAndLemons95 tells us more.
Hi! I'm the OP (as you can probably tell) and I should probably explain some things. This happened a while back but it's a great lesson in being more critical. First, #8 is very right with the explanation of the term. Also, I said "cheap" because it was actually affordable and quite fair in size contrary to many others where you're promised 13m2 for about 450$ more or less. Second, I didn't sign the lease. I only checked to see if they were actually legit owners of the place since many get scammed that way. I didn't think about checking if they were actually good at what they're doing. That was pretty naive of me and definitely a lesson learned. I'm very sorry for all of you who had to experience this, and I hope you're in a better apartment now where you feel like you're heard and respected. Also, thank you to all of you who showed me sympathy even if you didn't know how it turned out. It's really sweet of you. :) Last, I'd like to say that I'm not ungrateful and I'd never dare to be! I'm easily excited and I am thankful for all fortunes in life. It's not an issue of being grateful or not but rather about being in a situation that is safe and comfortable. I didn't feel either of those when I found out and I had to react to that. I hope you understand! Okay. Ramble over. I hope that cleared up a bit of your questions!
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her Facebook relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
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