Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
I'm guessing you've never had dogs of your own. I would have recognized the sound instantly and at least tried to check. If you have never owned a dog, then it is your boyfriend's fault - he should have recognized it. So FYL.
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you add to the pile?
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Comments (42)
rmujerita 0
ewwww
PsYcHoSOADLaDy 0
My sentiments exactly :-
rachelbrianna25 0
lol, that's nasty. at least it wasn't poo?
momoimmortal 0
hahahahhahahhahahhahahhahah ur so right!!!
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you add to the pile?
IamSpartacus 0
5?
null_fml 11
I'm guessing you've never had dogs of your own. I would have recognized the sound instantly and at least tried to check. If you have never owned a dog, then it is your boyfriend's fault - he should have recognized it. So FYL.
anniebananie 3
Agreed. The cough-like noise that dogs make before puking is pretty distinctive and should easily be recognized by any dog owner. In fact, the very first thing I do when my dog starts "coughing" is kick it out of my bed.
Brinty 4
Nah, I've never had a dog. I wanted to dog out, but my boyfriend was very adamant that he was fine, cause the dog coughs a lot anyways.
moonlight_daze 8
Your boyfriend's dog WINS!
unfortunate_13 5
that's why you don't keep animals in your bed. ydi.
StingMunFizzy 0
Dog: 1 Stupid Bitch: 0
pbuk 0
And there I thought letting a dirty animal into my bed would be a *good* idea. Thanks for the lesson in "******* obviously stupid ideas"
shebewoofle 21
Not all animals are dirty :(
homy_fml 0
that's stupid when ya see that the BF's not kicking him off well you should