Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML
Today, I found out my mom has literally spent all her savings sending money to some bullshit-peddling megachurch televangelist, who apparently told her that giving them money would ensure her future fortune. Tithings, my ass. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML
Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently, I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML
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Top comments
Kerensky 17
The story in Genesis is probably what you're thinking of. Creation and early history are told similarly in many cultures. Jesus is a historical figure that is proven to have existed, Messiah or not.
graceinsheepwear 34
I bet you had an idea of your mom's religious beliefs before you "casually" mentioned your view. It sounds to me like you baited her a bit. If so, YDI.
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Comments (42)
lex1459 38
Wow
scooterdude720 19
Things did tend to spread by word of mouth back then.
lex1459 38
Or ye olde twitter.
scooterdude720 19
Is that a new-fangled term for carrier pigeon?
steffi90 13
there are many different stories as to how the bible came about. different people will each have their own beliefs and debates can be healthy, however it sounds like your mum overreacted. maybe leave religious debates out of conversations with her from now on and continue with your studies.
lex1459 38
It hurt a lot less than ye olde Facebook, which was just when they took two flat pieces of stone and smacked their faces between them.
scooterdude720 19
I hate to be a jerk about this #15, but use the reply button when you actually want to reply to a comment. Don't use it to get your comment higher up.
scooterdude720 19
I hate to be a jerk about this #15, but use the reply button when you actually want to reply to someone's comment. Don't use it to get your comment higher up.
astralvagan 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I wouldn't waste your time trying to prove it.... sounds like she wouldn't believe you there either
lolfood 24
I can't wait for the religious debate...
Balderich 1
I'm no religious nut, but I am an avid reader of Cracked, and I think the OP is full of malarkey. See #4 on the list: goo.gl/p9GE0t That being said, book learning is great, documentary learning can be hit or miss.
joea21 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Some people are too set in their ways to here possibilities. At least you're a learnded doctor now!
ndomer 6
This saddens me
lolfood 24
It never said that she's a doctor.
joea21 21
You guys are obviously not familiar with stepbrothers... That is what saddens me
meganmagee 11
*hear
joea21 21
That's what I meant to put. Hear*
RodzillaX 30
An education sure is a waste of time...
whiteboy896 9
Let people believe what they want OP! with that being said, i would say she did overreact just a tad bit. YDI kinda..so i will not vote :P
lolfood 24
You can vote for both.
whiteboy896 9
i never vote anyways, so idk why i even put that part
Mauskau 36
Why be here if you don't vote?
Nyx_fml 23
She's just a gangsta. She prefers street cred.
Kerensky 17
The story in Genesis is probably what you're thinking of. Creation and early history are told similarly in many cultures. Jesus is a historical figure that is proven to have existed, Messiah or not.
fatlemonjefferso 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's no proof of Jesus's existence other than from the bible. If you know of any references to back your claim, please provide them.
Balderich 1
I think the OP actually got her bad info from Religulous (see #4 here: goo.gl/p9GE0t).
Shrike 24
#24, I'm not even religious in the slightest, and I know, like virtually every intellectually-honest scholar out there, that Jesus was a historical figure, son of god or not. You just look like an uneducated idiot.
scooterdude720 19
There are many Non-Christian sources that prove Jesus's existence; Josephus is one. However, FML is not a religious debate forum. Don't try to make it one.
mamaflower 23
I don't have references to back it up on hand. But Jesus did exist and he was crucified as a criminal, people came across old census records with him on it years ago. It's the messiah thing that is up for debate.
B00K_L0V3R93 31
Actually, OP is right. In a lot of ancient cultures there is mythology of hero characters that die and come back to life. In Egyptian mythology for example, Osiris is killed by his brother Seth and ripped apart, his wife Isis puts him back together and he lives for a while and then dies again, becoming god of the dead. Its not exactly Jesus, who indeed was a historical figure, but it is a common theme of death and rejuvenation.
Welshguy 2
Are you talking about the Horus when you talk about the Egyption stuff? Because he wasn't born of a virgin. The way Horus was concived is much more strange than that. Jesus wasn't born on December 25, at least the bible doesn't say so. Most of this stuff comes from the Zeitgeist documentry. Most of the stuff is simply not true.